Am i able to work with my mental health? Mom is getting older and dad left us. I got a job today but i can't stop crying
So my dad visited and said "for 250$ it's not worh going to the internship and participating in the fraud". I decided to rest but a German-American guy called me for a job i applied for long ago. I mistook hundred and thousand. I thought he would pay me 3050 but when i read the contract i saw 350$. That's a Bulgarian salary. I can't believe the company is in Florida. And i don't have health insurance, retirement insurance and the job is overwhelming because i had to download 3 virtual office apps and i struggle with my camera. Also i have to call the customers and my phone bill will be insane. Im a recruitment assistant. But i don't know why i need 5 virtual office apps to do that when there's google meet and when i will be calling people by phone. Maybe it's just anxiety and overwhelm. But i really don't know whether to quit. I have to be in meetings and also decide who to reject and hire. Maybe it's better for the winter months but the internship would be better because they would pay me 250$ but with insurance and experience and as a psychologist but the boss is crazy, she's determined to scam me. Maybe im just having a panic attack. I forgot English. I was like a totally dumb person, the HR was telling me how to register in the 15664 apps and i couldn't even turn on my camera and she said i need to buy a camera. Phone bills, camera, insurance... I don't want to lose. But hear me out - i don't want to sponsor Bulgarian stealing of funds and the boss is crazy. Maybe work two months remote while it's cold outside and my health is bad and im at chance of slipping on ice like last year and then try to get a Bulgarian job. Maybe all jobs are different. But i really thought America paid better than Bulgaria not worse. Maybe im just stressed. I can't stop crying. I don't want to show up tommorow. I don't want to fix my camera. I don't want to reject people. I don't want to be there everyday. 3 hours felt like 9. I haven't even eaten. I only want expensive chicken nuggets, otherwise I feel nauseous. Also my phone bill, my electricity bill.
@intellectualGrapefruit6085 Maybe it might be time, for a career change. Something to think about.
Mom said i need to get a job but my health is too bad
@intellectualGrapefruit6085It saddens me to hear you say that, my friend. I am also facing work-related problems.
This job sounds like it is seriously damaging your health, and I think you should try to find another job.
@intellectualGrapefruit6085I have looked at your homepage and read about your situation. I feel sorry for you. On the whole, your mother doesn't work, your father is not around, and you are also under pressure at work. I sincerely hope that your life will get better. I wonder if something simple like waiting tables would be better? You have an older sister? Have you considered running away from home with her?
Thanks for your interest. My sister is actually younger and mom lives with her but she comes to me on the weekend and ruins me. I can't stop crying all day because of mom and needing to find a job
@intellectualGrapefruit6085It breaks my heart to hear that your life is so difficult. But believe me, you are thinking about how to make your life better, and you are taking action, so although it is difficult now, life will not always be like this. I hope that as you improve your life, you can find some other support to help you, for example, your friends? Or can you find some low-cost hobbies? For example, just going to the city library to read a book?
Thank you but i don't believe it will get better. It can only get worse as mom ages, grandparents age, dad gets more distant, sis gets more distant, im aging and not finding work, proper treatment nor friends. I can't even find a social hobby. I had pottery at the youth centre but the project came to an end. I go there but nobody talks to me. Everyone has their friends