An online friendship that is taking up too much space in my life.
Hi, this is my first post. It's a long one. Thanks so much for reading.
I don't normally make online friends, but I met one 6 months ago. We met through our shared love of my favorite band. I'm pretty reserved, so she was the first to reach out to me. At first, I thought this was just another casual online exchange that wouldn't last long and wouldn't matter much. But a few weeks into talking, I revealed that I'm going to graduate from university in 4 years, and she said, "I hope we're still texting in 4 years." I think it changed my view of the whole relationship. Honestly, I'm pretty lonely right now, and I think it's why I started clinging to this friendship so much.
We exchanged socials on multiple apps, and I even downloaded one app just because she was on it and she wanted to talk to me there. As I've gotten to know her, I've realized we actually don't have much in common at all, aside from being girls of similar age who like the same band. She lives in a different country and speaks a different language, and we use translation services to communicate. We don't share any hobbies or passions. We morally disagree on a couple of issues. I know there must be so many people out there that would make better friends. Yet she's the one I think about and talk to every day, because she's the one who reached out and offered her friendship to me.
She's been taking up more and more space in my head all the time, and I've been feeling frustrated when I find myself initiating conversations more than she does. I guess I thought I meant to her what she means to me, but I've realized that's not the case. I think it's just part of her personality to pursue close online friendships like this, and I'm one of many.
I don't want to break off the friendship; it wouldn't be fair to her, and it would just make me more unhappy. My life isn't great right now and I do think this friendship has brightened it. But I don't know how to stop thinking about her so much. It can't be healthy to be so obsessed with this friendship, especially when I feel like I'm giving her a lot of myself and she's returning little in comparison.
@bubbleGlobe3660
Yes, it's not healthy when you only think about answering her and you don't get the same energy back or if you have to text multiple times to get an answer.
There needs to be more balance and give and take and loneliness isn't nice but also you could end up lonelier if you don't keep your own boundaries in place.
You are responsible for your own happiness not for hers 🧡
Hi, I hope you're doing well ❤️🩹
Unfortunately, not all people return you the same energy that you give them, and that can be due to lots of reasons, maybe they have other close friendships that they prioritize, maybe it's just a part of their personality, or maybe they are just busy..
I've been through something similar, so I can understand it can be frustrating when you're the only one putting efforts into the friendship, that way it just costs you your mental peace, so it's better to put some distance between such people, to protect your peace...
I'm sure you can find lots of new friends on cups who have more in common with you, and who are ready to invest into the friendship 🌸💐🫂