Anyone else uncomfortable when people act nice towards you?
It feels so unfamiliar to me when someone acts nice towards me.
Last time an acquaintance checked up on me to see how I was doing and I almost cried. I am so not used to people care about me and how I'm doing. As a result I end up pushing people away. The right people!!! And I attract emotionally abusive ones because it's what I've been used to when growing up.
My whole family was emotionally abusive and that was my normal.
I wish I could feel comfortable around kind and emotionally healthy people.
@Vector5 There are some things in our past we had no control of, so we sorta just adapt and accept how things are then. However, you didn't deserve to be emotionally abused then. You still don't deserve it now. I say this even while I can relate to you. To this day, when I receive "too much" kindness from others, my heart gets so full. I can cry and then I go silent until I figure out how to navigate my feelings and then I'll respond. It's overwhelming. Receiving kindness from others may seem so foreign to you, Vector5, but I really hope your days are filled with more of it. ♡ You really do deserve it. I hope you know it. Hope you have a great day.
@YourCaringConfidant
Thank you for your sweet message!
@Vector5 I feel the same way they try to confused me I don't know who to trust God see everything to recover that I have to trust my instanst
@Vector5 It makes a lot of sense that being around kindness feels unfamiliar and even overwhelming, given your past experiences. It’s a big shift to go from what you’ve known to experiencing genuine care and support. It’s also understandable that you might push people away, especially when you're not used to positive attention.
@Selaviexx
I am gradually exposing myself to talking to people and try to be OK when they give me compliments and try to think they're genuine. For now that's it. I also have been thinking about going to therapy but I had some horrible experiences and now I am terrified of trying again.
@Vector5 yes I deal with that to it has put me in to self isolation that's when depression starts wish I new how to help
@friendlyOwl195
It's OK. Just knowing I'm not alone is great.
You're not alone. It genuinely triggers my fight or flight mechanisms even though I crave it. I have to try not to laugh at how ironic it is (for me).
I feel embarrassed, imposter syndrome, like they must be seeing someone else... all kinds of uncomfortable things. And I push people away. In really hurtful ways sometimes. (It's not okay for me to do that.) I end up feeling really overwhelmed and inadequate, and it even triggers shame! It still blows my mind sometimes.
I feel sorry for your personal experiences and I truly understand why you might feel this way. Give yourself sometimes and don't rush, it takes time to become adapted. But please always remember that you deserve to be loved, to be cared and comforted! You don't have to put everything on yourself because I think we can't afford or handle that much so having someone to share negativities is equally important throughout lifeð¥°ð¥°But it's okay, I believe you'll go through this! A lot of the people are actually much kinder than we thinkâ¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸You deserve all the goods
You could try easing yourself into it. Like, start out with spending a lot of time by yourself, but a little bit with people who are nice to you, or at least in places where you expect a stranger will politely talk to you (a restaurant will feature the waiter or waitress politely talking to you, for example) and slowly build up to having more people who treat you well
@Vector5 are you me? lol . i'm more comfortable with people who are firm and "not nice" to me and i attract abusers like a magnet, which i then blame myself for letting them in. its a horrible cycle and if i block them then i feel alone. just wanted you to know your not alone <3
I understand you, I am an extremely shy guy and once in school I was sitting on the library and a girl suddenly approached to me and asked me if she could hug me I realized it was a challenge of her friends but I say yes, she hugged me and I almost cried I could hide it but when I got home I hugged myself remembering that moment I cried it was awesome even though it was just a challenge I sometimes remember that moment and brings me some joy
