Bits and Pieces
When I see pictures of myself as a kid or even a teenager, I don't see the same person I am now. I feel like I'm faking who I am, and I struggle talking to my family with sincerity. I can't remember most of my childhood, it's all blurred together. I know it is my head trying to protect me, but I fear the day that something comes out of that locked recess. Sometimes reality doesn't feel real anymore.
My close friend group and my partner ground me, but when it is night, everything is alien and wrong. It gets quiet and suddenly I can't rely on the distraction of noise or activity to guide me away. My fear and anxiety keep me awake, terrified the whole night. And when the light finally comes back am I able to sleep, if only for a couple hours, but sleep nonetheless.
I wish things were clear again. I miss the simplicity of it.
@anonyFarm9265
I'm really sorry you are struggling so much.
And just don't feel like yourself.
It sounds exhausting.
And isolating.
And confusing.
Sending you my best wishes 💚
@anonyFarm9265 I hate when my dad or mom comes up to me and shows me a picture when I was a kid telling me how happy I was
@anonyFarm9265
After that we should focus on performing our roles in society in the best way we can, meaning being a good partner, a good friend, A good worker etc..
After that the only remaining aspect is sharing time with people who love you.. that should make you go To bed happy and fulfilled... and I say this because you mentioned let your friend group and partner keep you grounded, I think that is a great thing to have..
but if after that you still feel anxious It might be a good idea to talk to a professional about it, because there might be some issues you need to work through in order to be a happy person which is at the end of the day what we all want...