Brake in the grief

A week ago grief and this overwhelming sence of dume and helplessness set in

I couldnt stop crying and have cried multiple times a day since

It was life changing, it signified something, im just not sure what yet

Today I woke up and a little bit of it was gone

The sadness is still there and helplessness but a bit of the grief has lifted a bit

On one hand I feel bad because the familly members of the one lost are still very much in the grief and may never experience it being lifted even to an extent

On another hand, I am extremely thankful, athough I think a part of it will always be with me (I hope im wrong), I'm glad that I have a bit of it off it feels like I can breathe a bit more

I'm still in the darkness but it just became a bit more bearable to  

The greif is still there but it feels like I can breathe through it instead of it being suffocated

Every now and then I remember and my heart aces 

I've been wondering how do you live life through this

All of it is so unbearable

How can one live in this constantly 

How can one live life to the fullest through this

Before this I used to say that passing is a beautiful thing

That it is the beginning to forever, that it is the most freeing thing

After this I still thing those things but I add that it is a double edge sword

Although it is free's one, it imprisons so many others 

That what it feels like - like grief has me in prison and there is no way out

Now I feel like I am walking the park of a prison, yes im outside and can see the light but im still in the confines of grief

I woke up today being able to breath a little easier but who knows latter on I may break down but im thankful for the break