Compliments
This happened to me at work today. There's a little backstory to it. I signed up for an online degree program after experiencing the dirty side of office politics at work. I basically was labelled as a troublemaker from third party accounts and out of context incidents. Anyways, another co-worker signed up for an online program at the same institution as me and I let her know that I am almost finished with my first course (just have one more assignment to do) and I'm on the second assignment for another course. She said that she hasn't even started her first assignment but seeing how I'm getting my assignments done, I have inspired her.
Not sure how to take that. She's actually one of the few people in the office I talk to. After my experience with management late last year (and I'm still being scrutinized for something that was blown way out of proportion over four months ago. I actually have to sit through another "meeting" tomorrow), I don't communicate with anyone. My co-worker is about the only person at work who knows I'm taking classes even though my university encourages people to let their employers know. However, I think they mean different working environments than what I'm currently in. The whole observation thing I'm stuck in came about because management felt that I took not getting a raise rather badly. I actually said nothing about that. That news came in December and by then I had been exposed to how my department actually functions. Rewarding people with strong company ties, or those who shamelessly kissed up to management and then going after people who didn't fit in with the in-crowd or who went to HR to express a concern (something I will never do again).
All this is why I'm working on getting a degree while working full-time, writing, and doing pictures. I actually received another compliment yesterday on that. The girl who places the furniture in our company's lounges gave me a lift home because of the sudden weather change and I was not wearing attire that could stand waiting outside for a bus in high winds. I hesitantly showed her some of my recent pictures and she said I should sell them as posters. I said no (mainly because I don't think they're all that great and I doubt anyone would want to pay money for them) then told her years ago I actually studied design but quit because I didn't think I was skilled enough. I mentioned that a former co-worker got mad at me when I mentioned that and she agreed that I shouldn't have quit.
I am a brutal critic when it comes to my own things. I don't really know how to respond to compliments aside from a rather meek "thank you" and there are times when I question the sincerity of the words. I get thank yous occasionally from management (mainly when I add a new link to our log of states) but I don't know if it's sincere or not based on my past experience with them and it's something that's not difficult to do. I mean all I do is add a new row, copy the log-in link for the new state then save. It only takes a few minutes.
I don't exactly know what will happen in my meeting tomorrow. They may bring up some phrase I used regarding an upper management decision (and it wasn't anything offensive or bad) but they may try to fish for more information. I'm not going to fall into that trap. I'm going to agree with everything even if I don't agree (after all I was told that management knows best) and focus on completing my assignments so I can move on to the next batch of classes. At least one person finds my motivation useful I guess.
@Enthenia
It sounds like you've been through a tough time at work, and it's understandable that you feel hesitant to open up to others about your personal life, especially given the dynamics at your workplace. However, it's great that you have found motivation in pursuing an online degree program and other creative endeavours outside of work.
It's natural to be self-critical of your own work and to question the sincerity of compliments, but try to remember that they are likely genuine expressions of admiration from your co-workers. You should be proud of your achievements and continue to pursue your passions, regardless of what others may think or say.
Regarding your upcoming meeting with management, it's important to stay focused on the issues at hand and avoid getting pulled into any unnecessary discussions. Stick to the facts, be professional, and remember that you have the right to express your concerns and opinions respectfully.
Keep up the good work, and don't let the negativity of your workplace bring you down. You are capable of achieving great things, and it's inspiring to see how you're staying motivated despite the challenges you've faced!
@Mya000
Thanks! Actually the meeting got rescheduled to this week. Management didn't have time to deal with me Friday I guess. That's one thing that bothers me at work. Many things bother me or they used to. I have the degree I'm working on and it's partially at their expense. I think that's a fair exchange for all that I've been through. They offer the reimbursement program. There's no stipulation that you have to remain once a degree is secured.
I finished the final assignment for my first course Friday. I started the degree program at the beginning of this month. I had until May to complete the first course but I don't like procrastinating. I'm almost done with the second assignment for the second course--I just have to check my work before I type the paper.
Hopefully I will be able to get some good connections once I get closer to completing my degree. I joined a university networking site but I haven't really done anything on it yet since I'm pretty much in the beginning of the program.
As for the work environment, I have learned to ignore quite a lot and I have my classes to keep me busy when I have nothing to do. It does get annoying to act like something mechanical but until I get my degree and secure a position elsewhere, it's all I can do. After all, I won't be the one in worse shape when I break away. They will be aware of all that I did once I'm no longer there and by then it will be too late to make amends.
@Enthenia
It sounds like you are making great progress with your degree program, and it's great to hear that your employer offers a reimbursement program. It's understandable that some things about your work environment may bother you, but it's impressive that you have learned to ignore them and focus on your studies! It's also smart to start building connections through networking, even if you're just beginning your program. Best of luck with your studies and future career opportunities!
@Mya000 Thank you! I had the meeting today and I was still skeptical and non-committal in my answers. They still believe that a huge metamorphosis happened since the incident. The only thing that changed as I mentioned before, was that I don't talk to anyone. But, so long as someone is happy I suppose.
I marked my first course as "completed" and I'm currently working on my second assignment for my second course. There's a lot more research involved in this second assignment.
But regardless of what happens, at least I'm learning new things and setting myself up for more options. When I first got the position (after being a temporary employee), I was glad. But since that incident happened, I will never be completely sure of management's motives nor can I believe the sincerity in their words. It may be genuine, I don't know. So long as I keep my nose to the grindstone, as it were, then there is no reason for them to find fault with me.
It may not be the best situation but it's all I have right now.
@Enthenia
Thank you for sharing your update with me! It sounds like you are making the best of a challenging situation by focusing on your personal and professional growth. It's great that you are learning new things through your courses and setting yourself up for more opportunities in the future! I understand your scepticism towards management, but I commend you for keeping a positive attitude and working hard regardless! Keep up the good work, and I wish you all the best 😊
@Mya000 Well I don't know about a positive attitude. I think it's more like resignation. This is just how things are at the moment. I mean, at least I'm employed and can pay my rent and other bills. There are a lot worse situations I could be in.
It makes for a long day when you are not happy at work or you find people who only survive by kissing up and fake praise....
i am in same boat at moment want to leave but the money at this assignment is very good but taking a toll on my patience and attitude
@toughTiger6481 It used to bother me but since I started this education project (at the suggestion of a co-worker who isn't a hundred percent satisfied with her position either) I don't really care about it all. They labeled me (somewhat falsely) in their minds. No one should have to trade their identity for stability in a position. I actually had our department director tell me I was negative and not a team player. But at the time she was new to the department and she believed what my managers said. Of course, one of them was a transfer from another location and the other got his position because he's a kiss up. When he had a normal position, I noticed that he was always quick to chat up upper management--a trait I noticed in the employee that I got in trouble over.
I actually went out of my way to avoid that person because I could feel tension whenever I was nearby. I would time getting my water or other things from the breakroom until that person was back at his computer, but I never said anything. Yet I was the villain in that incident.
But whatever. I just stick to my computer, only speak when I have a question I can't answer and keep on with my classes. Also, I have over a hundred hours' worth of music but I have to get a new device to play it on because something's wrong with the screen and it's past the return date. And, like I said before, I think, I will be better off in the long run because getting an IT degree increases my chances at a better position.