Dad's girlfriend moving in
So- my dads girlfriend and her 8 year old daughter are moving in tomorrow. I knew this was coming for a while but it hit me and im kinda of panicking.
I have two younger siblings though so I feel like i need to be strong for them. The people moving in are really nice but its a big change and I feel like strangers are moving into my house. It feels like nothings gonna be the same and like its always going to feel weird, especially cause im moving out in August it feels like ill never get time to make it feel normal.
Thus big change just feels the same as when my parents divorced. Its scary and it hurts a lot. Im mostly over thay now cause it has been like 6 years now but of course really thinking about it can still make me cry. It feel like I lost a lot of my innocence so young *** so I get upset thinking about what my life might have been like if my parents were happy together.
Im just not really sure what to do. Im sure other people have gone through this too so, im wondering if anyone has any advice? Thank you so much for listening.
@Mia183
Hello, I understand it is difficult to not be uneasy about new people moving in and wonder what will happen. one part of your post really is part of the issue
"I get upset thinking about what my life might have been like if my parents were happy together."
As long as you have held on to the "what if " idea even though it has been 6 years any change that makes it harder for you to let go of the idea of what life Might have been.
@Mia183
Thanks for reaching out to the community.
How old are your siblings? (And I believe you can be strong for them and yourself.)
It’s good that the new people are nice, and it seems like you know them a little? How do your siblings feel about them and the whole transition?
Without more information, my general advice is to keep to your normal routines as best as you can, inside and outside of the home; be flexible, welcoming, and helpful; seek support from people you trust (friends, adult family members, teachers, counselors, coaches).
I divorced my wife when our children were 9 (daughter) and 7 (son). Our son has just started his 12th grade year … and our daughter is in her 3rd year of college. My ex-wife had primary custody of the kids and has had 3 long-term partners over the years. I’ve been with the same partner since 2016.
Sticking to your routine will help to take care of you. Helping your siblings to keep to their schedules will help them. A quick check-in with them at night might also be nice. Saying good night (and good morning) to dad, girlfriend, and daughter will probably also contribute to a smooth transition.
If you or your siblings have confused or conflicted feelings, I would suggest bringing these feelings to other trusted adults before your dad—unless you feel he is absolutely and totally on top of this transition.
Finally, if you can keep the home situation out of the conversations you have with your friends, that will help you maintain stability in your friendships—unless you and your friends are extremely close, sensitive, mature and can offer each other support and encouragement rather than advice).
I wish you all the best … and please feel free to reach out anytime.
Life is tough sometimes and once in a while we have to deal with uncomfortable things....how you handle this will shape the person you want to be going forward
