Deployments/family/self sabotaging

I made a fool of myself during a police stop, I was overwhelmed already before I even left the house because it’s the first time going out of the house since my husband left for work. My kids are non stop screaming since he left and I’m struggling with what to do and it really clouded my head with frustration when I got stopped but not the road rager behind me who honked and sped up almost rear ending me (they said I failed to go at a green light but there was 3 people at the crosswalk with 25 seconds left) when they came to my window they said I was on my phone. I would never be on my phone. I got a modern car to be able to use voice command and avoid my phone for safety. I definitely had unnecessary attitude and actions during the stop which led to a whole thing with my husband after I sent him the dash cam footage. Him saying I am unstable and he’s worried for the kids and I’ve now mentioned divorce in a year if I don’t meet his expectations; and now I’m emotionally shutting myself down to try and keep from it happening because I love my family but I don’t know what or how I’m doing it all wrong…….its more detailed but this is just the main…. I’m so lost right now