Difficulty dealing with life change after pregnancy

Hello everyone! I’m new here. I used to volunteer as a listener waaaaay back in the day so I though this might be a good place to find support.

I gave birth to our little boy 6 weeks ago - both my husband and I are over the moon with our little one - but I’ve been having difficulty with some changes happening that have been a source of anxiety, anger and depression for me.

One of those things is my body. I hate how I look. I’ve struggled with an ED in the past and it’s been effecting my self esteem. There is only one outfit that makes me feel comfortable where I can hide my postpartum body.

The other one is making everyone happy by visiting with our son. Our families live over an hour away. I am very close to my family, and before pregnancy we would visit my parents every Saturday, and come back home in Sunday. While my husband parents lived a few minutes away, we didn’t go very often because their relationship is a bit complicated and while they have been been rude or anything to me, there have been some incidents where I could tell has upset my husband or caused him stress and anxiety and it really upsets me when anyone hurts him. Due to this, my relationship with them isn’t very close at all and while in usually quiet and introverted, I’ve always been respectful the times we do visit.

Anyway since we had our son, we’ve been visiting them every time we go over to San Bernardino (where both our parents live) and it’s been very draining. We drive over an hour to get there, we arrive at my parents, stay an hour or so then go to his parents for an hour or two then go back to my parents we’re we spend the night but by the time we get back, I feel so exhausted, it’s late and I feel like I don’t get to enjoy my time with them like before. The time that we spend at his parents is mentally draining because there’s not a lot to talk about, and a lot of times conversations feel like lectures (if we say something they often say it’s not true it’s this way or that way or just have a negative outlook about everything etc) for example when they visited us after I gave birth, I shared my experience - I pushed for 4 hours unmedicated with not progress because baby was sunny side up and stuck in the birth canal, his head was beginning to swell and I opted for a c section to get him out safely - well they went in about how it was important to walk in labor so that the baby loves to the proper position so that one can give birth vaginally then went on to talk about how the woman in their village in Mexico gave birth naturally because they had no doctors. While their intentions might not have been out of malice, my experience way very traumatic and I felt very hurt, invalidated and like how I did things was wrong or took the easy way out. This experience made me feel a bit of resentment and no longer wish to share things about me with them. Another incident was during my baby shower my MIL randomly told me I had a lot of white hairs. I was caught off guard with this and played it off like it didn’t bother me but that was Ali’s hurtful and don’t understand what the point of that was other that taping into my insecurities.

I wont go on but just wanted to give the gist of it. I’ve been struggling with anxiety every weekend just dreading going over and sometimes it just turns into anger even though I never express it. I just feel very uncomfortable going but don’t want to bring it up to my husband (I feel like he knows I don’t find it fun to go but that’s about it) i’ve never shared how I felt about most situations that have upset me even though I know he would listen and understand. I don’t like conflict so it’s hard and I also feel guilt that I am way more comfortable around my parents.

Thank you if you’ve made it this far, I’d appreciate any advice or feedback. I’m feeling so alone in this.