Disgusted With Myself ****TW****
***TW***
I’m disgusted with my body. With the roll of fat on my tummy that I can feel when I sit, and I can pinch it. With my inability to stop eating, binging and binging as much as possible, even when I’m not hungry.
I feel like a fat, bloated, beached whale. Coping with food. How pathetic.
I should be able to control myself. I’m trying. Kinda. But I can’t. Food is comfort. Food is life.
Food is going to destroy me if I let it.
I know a food addiction is so much better than drugs or drinking or whatever, but I’m still disgusted and frustrated and… idk.
We spend more money on food than I want to, because of my insatiable, trying-to-cope stomach.
My stomach is disgusting. I feel disgusting. I hate myself. I hate looking down, looking in a mirror, seeing the distorted view of myself, seeing a fat hippo, not a beautiful young woman.
Who have I become?
Talk to yourself like you would a friend
Every single word relatable going through similar issues
I was 19stone, smoked, bit my nails, hated my self and who I was how I felt, then my husband left me for another women, I honestly didn’t wanna be alive I turned to God something I had never done before run to him infact, and from there it all stated to change, God started working on me but within taking me right back to childhood and bit by bit as I unravelled each trauma I was also healing from each one to it was hard the hardest thing I’ve ver had to do but I held on to the fact I knew God was with me, 19months later I’m now 11 stone I don’t smoke and I don’t bite my nails I have a peace that I have nothing else to compare to I do still have days where I break down but when I no it’s coming prob about once a month I sit with it have it as a rest day I don’t turn to the old ways I turn to God and normally it will last for about 10mins and I’m good, changed my life completely
Love and support. I'd just like to offer that your body is not you. You are an eternal spiritual being, child of God. The body is temporary, like a set of clothes. So your body is out of shape. I can relate. I overeat and my body is overweight also. But it's not me, it's just a maladaptive pattern I'm struggling with right now. Hope this is helpful. Sending love and support.
@jesusredeemedme2425 just a daily check in to say I love you and hope today was a better day 💜🥰
Awww I love you too! Today was mostly better. Still overate…