Don't know how to navigate..

Hello everyone,

I am new to 7 cups but I am already so grateful to the community's presence and over all purpose. I wish I knew about this app before!

Long story short, my friends don't really like my now-fiance. I have been friends with these girls since high school and 3 of them are actually part of a family. I have been with my fiance for 10 years now and I love him, he treats me well and really cares for me. There are a couple of reasons why they don't particularly like him the main one I can gather would be that he's a bit straightforward, blunt, sarcastic at times when he talks. If he's passionate about a topic, he'll get into a debate and he'll disagree and he'll vocalize his opinions. Some may not completely agree with what he says or does. But that's him, that's his personality.

We've all hung out as a group before and it was fine, but about 2 years ago, my friends sat me down for an intervention and told me stuff they didn't particularly like about my partner. I accepted the fact that he won't be included in most events but this was before I got engaged and before we lived together.
So the issue arose when my best friend's husband's birthday came up, it's basically a mixed group; not just an all girls event. So I was a bit taken aback that my partner was not even considered or let alone thought of. The thing that upset me is the principle and intention of the invite. He's my significant other, and just because they don't like him he's not included? And I felt for my partner, he obviously was hurt because he likes my friends and treated them as his friends too.

That obviously puts me in a really tough situation. How is it that everybody else in the group has their SO but I can't have mine? And what becomes this moving forward right? I am planning my wedding and I can't help but feel that there's a bit of a weird energy that's a bit disingenuous. Yes, they're there for me.. but obviously since it's his day too, he doesn't want people there that do not wish him well.

The other thing that upset me was my choice of keeping my engagement for a month. The reason I kept it was my best friend just got engaged a month ago so I did not want to take away her moment. Then my other friend was having a birthday, plus the ring was not ready as it was still being custom made and the sizing was wrong. Idk, I just felt like I was made to feel bad with the choice I made. Plus in hindsight, i preferred how it played out. It was intimate and I didn't have to stress about photos taken.
Another friend also asked why my partner didn't ask my parents for permission for my hand in marriage.. We've been together for so long and he's been over the house so many times, my parents treated him as my husband even way before. So we didn't really have the need to do so?

I also went oversees to attend my best friend's wedding but had to leave a bit earlier; my work couldn't really give me the time off but at the same time it was expensive. I stayed for 10 days. I decided to leave a day before since it was cheaper (direct flights on fridays) and since I was coming back I didn't want to go to work for 2 days as i'm jet lagged so i just took the extra days plus the weekend to recover. One week before I left for this trip, me and my partner decided to go on a roadtrip since we didn't get to spend as much time together (my focus the whole year was the wedding) and one of my friends said "oh i'm surprised you went cause you didnt mention anything."

Again making me feel some sort of way for my choices.

So I decided to sit the events out cause I just felt like my feelings and my partner's feelings we dismissed in this situation. I am taking some time to myself and I have not spoken to anyone for a week now.