Friendship ?
I really need to let off some steam. I have had a friend that I’ve been friends with since I was 15 years old. She has just not shown up for me at all..
first off, my sister passed away six years ago. she showed up to the celebration of life five minutes before it ended. I don’t think I’ve ever let go of that. It was hurtful. My child’s grandfather passed away once again did not show up for that and sent a text message i was going to come.
now this past February, I went into severe pain couldn’t move couldn’t work. Couldn’t establish anything around the house. She said I’m gonna come over and clean for you so you don’t have to worry about it never did after I had. My surgery. Didn’t even visit me in the hospital then says I’m coming up with a list of things to make for you guys kind of like a Meals on Wheels never did. And then had the audacity to say I thought you were only staying in the hospital one night. Things happened. I didn’t!
It’s like everything now that she’s doing is annoying me. I’m having a visceral reaction. Just got a text message from her just out of the blue asking what happened to the job I applied for I feel like she’s just so clueless nosy and just unsupportive.
When she says oh, I called you and you didn’t answer it’s like I’m supposed to be there for her, but it’s not reciprocated. when she calls me. Her boyfriend is chatting. Her kids are grabbing the phone and I get it that stuff happens, but I can’t even have like a chance to say to her you have been annoying me basically and that’s probably not the right thing to say but it’s what’s on my mind right now…..
idk if it’s always been like this and I’m just seeing my worth? Like 🤯
@peachThinker662 aww sweetie I'm so sorry🙁 she does not sound like a good friend at all, she sounds unbelievably selfish🙁 I understand you've been friends since early teens but toxic relationships are not worth it🙁 if it's making you question your worth and just becoming a chore to be her friend then it's time to cut her out of your life. I'm sorry sweetie 😥 theese things are never easy, but you deserve so much more. Your such a fun, loving person who's so kind and you deserve to be treated that way to💖 hugs you tightly 💖 I'm sorry sweetie 🙁
@Tinywhisper11
appreciate your feedback Tiny. 💕💕 All I see is selfishness too. It’s hard when you give, give, give, hoping someone will see and mirror your behavior. And more than likely, it’s always been like this. Glad to be acknowledging it. I’m growing. I’m maturing. Doing things to better my life. Therapy. It’s a challenge when others get stuck in their unhealthy habits. Plus, considering I haven’t been around her, it’s seen differently. Incredibly irritating.
So right in that it’s making me question a lot of things. 💓 thanks for your support. 🥰
@peachThinker662 💖💖💖 I love you 💗
@Tinywhisper11
💗💗💗💗💗
I have had “friends” like this. You being annoyed is perfectly valid! I am so sorry for the losses you’ve endured and her not showing up literally or figuratively says a LOT!
It could be that it gradually got worse and that she saw what she could get away with and keeps becoming a worse and worse friend
Or it could be that you’re seeing your worth and it’s all become so much clearer
Or even a combination of the two
Regardless of why you’re seeing things differently she sounds like a bad and fake friend and you have every right to feel annoyed and done with her!
I hope you’re able to express this to her and/or cut ties and be rid of someone who only takes and never gives, you definitely deserve better
@AmethystLotus
it does appear I put up with things and she kept pushing her limits and also that she’s always been this way. No one had the heart to say anything because they cared about me.
This feels so much lighter having talked about it. I appreciate the feedback so much.
Often in my head I feel like I have to be a 5 year old and stick my tongue out 😝 “I don’t want to be your friend anymore” but that’s not the case. I can back up, set boundaries and let it slowly roll.
💗💗💗
Haha I can TOTALLY relate to wanting to stick your tongue out at people
I’m glad you feel better having talked about it! Still a shame some people are like this, you definitely deserve better 💗💗
Thank you lovey!! ❤️
@peachThinker662
We can all make mistakes and not give the time to friendships we should but these are not minor things, not showing up for your for your sisters funeral 🥺 not going to your sons grandparents funeral, and promising to help you around the house and then not even turning up and acting surprised you were even in the hospital. I'm too polite to tell you what I'd honestly say to her 😂 but you deserve so much better and some friendships just run their course, if you are not seen in this friendship, I wouldn't be lowering my sense of worth to accommodate someone's else shallow attempts to be there. Never forget you are a kind and wonderful person and if she cannot see this, her ultimate loss 💜💕
@Amanda84
oh my gosh. You are the freaking best. “I’m too polite to tell you what to say to her” 😂😂 this is why i luv you. ❤️❤️
i just had a really conversation with my aunt. She told me i never say anything about others friends, but she’s chaos.
I think I just let it all slip by the way side for so long. Got the “love “ I thought I deserved. And I do deserve much more.
Did I have expectations of what a friend should be? Or how I respond to people as their friends? Yes. Therefore, I shouldn’t receive less either. Longevity means nothing at this point. I’m looking for quality-grade a relationships!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@peachThinker662
You deserve quality grade a relationships 💜💕
@Amanda84
someone told me at work yesterday I was a “baddie” this gif reminded of it with “boss lady” I’ve never been called a BADDIE before. Whooooo hahahaha I thought I was too old to be one. Guess not. I feel cool😎 shhhh 😂
@peachThinker662
You are a boss, never too old to fulfill your potential 🥰
@peachThinker662
Sometimes it can happen that individual can overpromise. The intention is there, but then vagaries of reality and every day life can throw curveballs. Motivation can slip, and even the best of intentions can fall by the wayside when one forgets to look outside our own immediate orbit of our own lives. That is not to say that it is justified or to dismiss how hurtful it can feel to be on the receiving end of seemingly selfish and thoughtless behaviour, especially from someone we care about and/or consider a friend. I would hope only to take a little of the sting out of such feelings by suggesting that sometimes even with the best will in the world, people can fall short of what they really meant to do in their heart of hearts.
It must be very disheartening to face disappointment after disappointment. And it is totally understandable that a tally of wrongs looms heavy in the mind when one feels that consideration and care is not reciprocated equitably. It is such a shame that sometimes we do not realise just how important a gesture or promise is to someone, and how great the hurt will be if we let them down. I am sure many of us can empathise with the frustration of wanting to tell your friend how you feel they have upset you but not having right moment to be able to. I imagine it must be very galling, especially if you feel that they should realise that their behaviour has not been that of a good friend.
I know it is not very comforting, but sometimes being inconsiderate is less wilful selfishness and more just failing to consider the other persons perspective. The action hurts just the same, but maybe it might be less frustrating and disheartening to think of the following analogy; If as a child, a playmate accidentally strikes our cheek, we cry. If another playmate strikes our cheek from spite, we cry. Both sting the same, but when we are comforted by our playmates, only the second one leaves our heart hurting after the welt fades.
I am glad you know you worth, and it is justified to call out bad behaviour, if only just so that others have an opportunity to see the error of their ways and maybe make amends.
@BastionKnight
First, let me start off by saying— your writing capabilities and vocabulary are astonishing.
Secondly, I do see the point you’re making. I do understand she has children and a partner that isn’t the most helpful. I have put that into consideration for sure. Maybe in previous circumstances and times I was more understanding and patient.
However, I don’t think it suits me to this day. And maybe it’s my trauma response—disappointment in unkept promises, the word love and never showing up for it, and of course abandonment issues. But I also don’t think just my issues are the full issue. I don’t believe that this has been an impulsive decision. More over time that the water has kept boiling.
I’ve been really trying to incorporate more positive influences into my life as a healthy decision for myself. I’m exhausted of this. 💕
@peachThinker662
It sounds like you are making wise and considered decisions. You have been patient, and it is not fair that anyone should expect your patience to be a bottomless well. Do what you feel is the right thing to do, and those who care about you will support your choices.
*Waves enthusiastically a 'Happiness for Team peachThinker' flag*
Toxic. Time to let go.
@jesusredeemedme2425
😘🥰
Just like that! Byeeeeee hehe