God's Joker 🤡 (A poetry)

This is a letter/song/poetry I am writing to express how I feel after trying to- walk in spiritual path/ try to connect with God for around 4-5 years.

Title : God's Joker

You say you like seeing me cry for you,
So I kept burning on embers in front of you but nothing was visible from you.

All my life, I remained a joker ð¤¡
Running after you, my life became a circus. [Chorus]

What a wonderful lesson you taught me on how to live:
To remain alive continuously, and drink poison still

After giving wounds to my heart, you told me that
Neither am I to die, nor am I to reach you quick.

After taking one breath, I take two deep sighs;
Even my pains have now had enough.

All my life, I remained a clown ð¤¡;
Running after you, my life became a circus. (x2)

The ones ignorant about you, are living a blissful life.
The ones loving their family more than you, get to have both the worlds (family life+God's connection)

Meanwhile the clown who tried to reach only you, Got everything taken away and not even left with guidance.

The clown tried to reach out the doors of guides who could help him with his spiritual limbo, And all of them gave a wide smile and closed the door in slow-mo

All my life, I remained a joker ð¤¡
Running after you, my life became a circus. (x2)

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Thank you.