Hate the country I am living in
I have such a deep hatred for the country I'm living in. I was born in another country and lived there for quite some time. Then my mother moved to a new country because her new husband lives here. I never felt at home. I don't fit in with the culture. I feel so out of place.
The worst part is that I can't even complain about it to people! Everybody tells me I am so lucky to live here. I don't even want to say the name of he country because people will immidiately start to invalidate how I feel.
Yes, for many people this country seems great and they want to live here. But it is their opinion. I feel so bad here. Since I moved here I always wanted to move out! I hate it here so so so much. I work hard everyday to be able to move far away but the progress is slow and I am getting frustrated
@Vector5 Hello. I think I can understand your feeling just a little bit. I have just been back to my home town after almost 20 years of living somewhere else. Like starting my life anew.
I reckon it is more important to be in a place when you have roots than to live in attractive "great places for a living" which often tend to be overly advertised. Also, from my experience, even when you are a stranger, but you find people and places which remind you somebody or some places you knew, you are saved.
Please, tell me: Is it only your reluctance to the new place you are living in? Or are you also still angry with your mother, for turning your life upside down (without asking you)?
@jacek73
I guess i feel this way about this country because I associate all my pain with it.
I try my best to cook meals from my home country and last time at a bar I met two people from my home country!! It made me so so happy!
I try my best to find positive sides to the country where I'm currently living but it feels like I'm lying to myself.
I'm making a lot of efforts into getting more money to be able to afford moving back to my home country.
@Vector5
Maybe it would be worth dedicating some time/space to honoring your home of origin? For example maybe you/your family could have regular meals that remind you of that home? Or dedicating part of your room to objects/pictures that remind you of that home. Though I would also encourage you to find new things that you like where you are too! Explore and try some new stuff or activities so you have positives there too. Maybe even just learning about the local animals or plants if those things interest you. Its sucks to be away from your original home, you don't need to let go of loving it just because everyone else expects you too. Try to find ways to honor where your from while finding exciting things now! Hard to give more specific advice without knowing the locations but I hope this helps!
@BlueMel
Thank you so much for this advice.
I never thought about learning the local plants and animals. That seems fun and I love learning new things.
I try to find activities to do here that remind me of my home country and it brings some peace.
@Vector5,
Hello, it is very nice to meet you. I’m glad you are here! it takes courage to voice your feelings, even if it is in an anonymous manner. I ran across your post and had to stop in. I feel like no matter what the country or city you live in as you are growing up, it makes you have this sort of affinity for it. No matter how long you live in this other place you may always love and cherish your “hometown”. You will always think of the your friends and whom ever you were made to leave behind. It never a good day when you are made to do something you do not want to do. For me, When this happened to me I was devastated, I acted out and got into trouble but that got me no where. It was only when I looked around and made some new friends that I was able utilize those relationships to find my way back to the place I was missing. I hope you find some peace in your journey!! Stay strong 💪
You have to talk to your mother and get place where your comfortable with
A place many people hate and love I guess...Germany? The US? Sending hugs! Curious of both countries. You can always go back to your chosen country if you are over the age of 18.
@CatListener
I really want to move back but currently I can't afford.
I'm working to make I happen though so hopefully it's gonna happen.
Hopefully you achieve the best for your mental health!
@CatListener
Thank you! I'm actually happy I'm taking proactive steps to change my situation instead of complaining. That shift in mindset really does help.
@CatListener
By the way, I just read your post "you are not the problem, it's your family" and I resonate a lot! Thank you so much for this. For such a long time my family made me believe I was crazy, but now that I'm living on my own and away from them and I talk to emotionally healthy people, I'm actually normal.
So thanks once again for the post. It's really validating.
Oh, I thought I’m the only one feel like the same as you said😂. Feel like , Am I different or something else ? Why I’m the only one like this ? These questions will stuff your head always I guess. Can not do anything just for now. You can escape from this situation when time comes. I’m escaped already 😅
Ah, i had to reply as this resonates with me. This happened to me when i was studying in uni, away from my hometown. But it's just from one side to the other side of the country. Same country but OMG, i totally HATED it. Everything is different, the culture, the language, the food, the people! Just everything.
I felt alone, i had no close friends, i couldn't be myself.
It changed me to a different person, one that was sociable and outgoing, to one that's a loner, which i absolutely hated.
Thankfully i got myself engrossed in extra curricular activities which i LOVED! to be exact, Taekwondo and Choir Club!
And coincidentally and fortunately for me, these clubs were so active and had full activities and super fun! Aaand also, i got close friends from here, and there were also a number of them who were from my hometown! although unfortunately i mostly only see them during the activities...but at least these things made my uni life a tad happier and i was so grateful for that.
So my advice is that, find activities that you like and join them! It's not necessarily for uni only... When i got back to my hometown, i joined the Taekwondo club near my house, and i got to make friends from there too. You're bound to meet people with the same "wavelength" as you if you share the same passion. Try it up, and all the best! You deserve to be happy!!
