Hey 😊

Hey love, i am writing this for me and anyone else that needs this. I hope you know, no matter how much they defend, blame, hurt, avoid what they did to you. You STILL dont deserve it. ABSOLUTELY none of it. Being stuck with them costed you your sanity. I dont blame you. They were your parents, you as a human being on earth NEED parents and community to survive, it is biology. Pls be gentle and gave urself grace, u are 1 human and are trying, if you fail and give in to them again, and trust em again. pls dont be hard on urself. You fell asleep at 3 again? Try again tmrw. I know its hard, it is, try again tmrw. If u have to act like a grey rock, so be it. You will leave soon. Very soon. And you will find safer ppl. Please be a human. With emotions. But yes dont let the emotions possess you. Feel jelousy, rage, grief, joy, pain, anger, sadness, love, shame, bliss, to the extent you can, but only if its not overwhelming. Know that even if you havent found your tribe. Its still out there waiting for you, IMAGINE it, everything in this dang world is made up anyways, whatever helps u safely get thru this tuff storm DO IT. Aslong as ur not hurting urself or someone do it. Sometimes unfortunately our body dissosiates us, to protect us from more pain and trauma. Sometimes unfortunately we see a ugly truth of a home we used to think was normal. But i promise you one day, your spring will come again 🌻, whoever, whatever even if its just a pet is safe for you, go to them. Pls dont go to the unhinged person who keeps hurting u, verbally, physically, mentally or neglecting or all at once. One day home will change, more families will be stronger bonded and loving , more healthy schools, more money, more community and acceptance. For now, know you are a light that people who hide in the dark are afraid of. You sre the light no matter how angry you get. How afraid you get. How broken you feel, tho u are not broken my dear, no matter how unworthy u feel. You are worthy and light. YOU ARE. And you are the most human of all humans! I love you, now take care, and go to protective spaces and ppl 💖💕 🌻💙💛🌾

(Tis a vulnerable post, i might delete it soon, i shall see, hope it helps someone tho and me too.)