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TW!⚠️‼️(only mentions of the words SH and SI no other details other than just words, if it triggers u, do not read last line of paragraph 1 or post. If it doesnt, id encourage u to read.)
I think reassurance gets misunderstood alot, and gets a bad rep. Yet it could save a life. Alot of people, go through alot, and never get the proper help or support, OR BARELY, that they need. Each person is unique and id like to say tha reassurance helps. When someone is clearly suffering, theyre all alone, and even if trapped with people who clearly hurt them mentally and their image of themselves, they need reassurance. At least someone saying "hey, you matter, you are worthy, and u do not deserve these things that happened to you." in clear sentences aswell. Personally thats what helps me too. not just "u are" but full sentences. so that when it feels dark again, i can reread it and feel a bit of relief. I feel like alot of ppl show this again, toxic positivity of "i care" then things get hard and u have needs, and they leave. The definition of resurrance literally is: "the act of removing someone's doubts or fears" or even "the act of providing comfort, validation, or support to restore someone's confidence and ease their worries." Now, DO NOT come in here with the "oh but what about when they get too attatched or dependent-" that is not what im speaking about. And at any rate, u can build self-reassurance with reassurance for other but never leave someone who doesnt know how to do it alone. Set boundaries yes, but dont be harsh? u kidding??? And dont randomly dissapear and never respond back over reassurance or anything. I dont understand how and when ppl forgot to be human and community oriented and instead pretend to be this positive energy thing that is just shining ignorance is bliss. Like i said. Ppl are humans, they make mistakes, they have problems, they have joy, they have anger, they have sadness. And i just hate when ppl try and dismiss u by putting out that example or like when they clearly try n dodge it, just say it. if ur not comfy with it, say it humanely and respectfully. but do not expect me to return to u for help. You can give reassurance, u can have boundaries, u can help someone also build their own self-assurance. all of those can exist but never, EVER shame someone for asking if theyre worthy or beautiful , u dont know the crisis thats in their heads and body 24/7 and if u do then cmon.. I just find it so disrespectful when ppl claim to be supportive then things get too hard and no communication or consideration and just abandonment, then ppl wonder why u dont ask for help or someone becomes hyperindependent. ive seen this on the crisis lines too. stop acting like a tough mama bird. ppl are in crisis , the last thing they need is someone saying 'u need to know that urself' 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ ohh.. if that wouldve worked it wouldve worked a long time ago. same as saying 'go cook urself' to someone who wasnt taught proper kitchen safety. cmon now.. these types of stuff make ppl who rlly need someone to say theyre worthy and deserve joy just hide it. hide the need, push down the need and then it forms into SH, SI, or lord knows what else. I and anyone should never have to feel like a burden for asking 1 reassurance or needing some consistent ones cus we cant currently find it anywhere
In summary, reassurance can save a life, if someones in crisis, or u know they arent doin well and are near the verge, PLEASE, be a human, dont be a blank 'toxic positivity' force or 'toxic self help' force. Treat them like a human, maybe they need to be validated, or heard, or just have a nice chat, or reassurance that they matter. I once heard "dont learn how to swim when drowning" (melissa romano again) and i would say 'save someone from drowing before teaching them how to swim.' becus i believe alot of ppl unfortunatly dont have alot of serious support when they immediatily need it and it just builds into crisis unfortunatly. Reassurance is literally the need of knowing u belong. Id rlly love for ppl to know the difference and to know u can help someone still, u can intergrate some stuff they can practice doin on their own. It just breaks my heart that lots of ppl cant relax in support cus of some stigmas.
