How did you get out of your abusive household?
Hi, this post is for the people who got out of their abusive environment. I dont know where else to post, so feel free to let me know.
So, i grew up in a abusive house, still growing up here. From a young age Ive seeing almost all sorts of abuse. It's not that bad (I don't even know what I'm comparing to). My mom tried to end her life, once or twice I guess because of my dad. I used to live in fear all day. I can't be seen using mobile phones for fun. I have to be at my study table at certain times. Again it's not that bad because it's for my own good but I never liked the fear because I was constantly nervous. But now less than ever before.
My dad's not abusive all the time, he is nice, I guess but some times when he gets mad I can't recognize him, maybe it's his upbringing or his traumas that lead to such violant outbursts
This might just be a rant but even if you're not from an abusive house or something like that please reply.
People who are motivated to get out their house, build a life, how do they manage to stay motivated? What did you do?
@Flushedrush
What you may find out later is........ life does not have a how to instructions. Your life can be shaped by seeing good and bad and making choices for you based on learning from experiences of others. How your parents are or your childhood does not have to hold you back in any way though so many seem to use items as a reason....
Many people can get upset that comes off as angry or real anger when under stress or does your dad for example drink regularly. The best things I found in handling abusive people is to find out if possible WHY .......and then do work in my life to not repeat patterns.
Sometimes when we see a parent very strict and focused on kids studying and grades it may simply be because they struggle in work or finances and they simply want you to achieve more hoping you are not stressed by your adult life. Knowing the why helps us navigate the pitfalls they may have encountered.
They will not tell you they are stressed and show their anxiety but instead think they are helping you to stay on track .... maybe they were not focused and on track and now see a unhappy result ....
@Flushedrush
“People who are motivated to get out their house, build a life, how do they manage to stay motivated? What did you do?“
I don’t get out every single time it’s abusive. When I don’t I just keep my distance as far away from the abusive people as much as possible. And during that time I pay attention to whatever I’m doing to keep my mind off them to have as much peace and happiness and all that and as little to no stress as possible. It could be writing, listening to music, being on here, whatever. But when I get out, I simply just leave and walk out of there not coming back in till they’re done either because they’re asleep/going to sleep or they’re out or any other reason they’re not abusing me. But when I’m seen I’m abused and behind my back when I’m not seen I’m spoken about negatively via made up stories that whoever’s being told these stories are too gullible enough to believe as truthful.
As for what motivates me or keeps me motivated, knowing I don’t deserve to be abused by anyone bc I did not do anything to justify being abused by anyone. And also knowing I have my own problems and don’t need to add to my list of problems by allowing abusive people to abuse me by being seen by them.
My advice to you is to try all these things and stick with whatever works best for you. If you’re able and ready to get your own place then do it.