Husband left me and i found out im pregnant
My husband left me a month ago because i cheated on him 3 years ago. I know it is unforgivable, but i changed completely since then i began to value family more than anything. We were planning a second child and then he found out about the betrail. He wants me to do abortion, he is saying im *** his life up, but i dont want to do the abortion. I think child is above everything. I am a good mother to my 9 year old, we have amazing connection. This is his brother or sister we are talking about.
Is it selfish to not do an abortion and keep the child? Will this ruin my future ex husbands future?
@outofmyskin
you’re accepting of what happened and have worked on changing for the better … that shows such resilience and it’s so strong of you to openly admit this 💕 Some people choose to forgive and others don’t… your husband didn’t and that was a choice he made for himself… That’s valid for him just as it’s valid for you to decide what feels right and comfortable for you too 💕
If you feel ready to bring this child into the world and give them a good life just like you’re already doing for your older one then you’re the one who should be able to make that choice. No one else is in your exact position feeling what you’re feeling, or carrying this child. Whatever you feel is right for yourself and your baby’s future is not selfish 🥺 it’s you making a deeply personal decision with love and care 💕💕
Thanks for kind words. What im afraid of is that my love for that child wont be enaugh. How will that child feel when father only loves his/hers brother? He is saying that he doesnt want that child and he will not love him/her. He is saying that in order for him to forgive me of my mistakes i should do an abortion
@outofmyskin I lost my father to a car accident when I wasn't even a month old. Unfortunately for me, my mother was abusive. But, my grandfather gave me so much love and attention and formed the individual I am today.
Although I always envied other kids while growing up for having a full family and decent parents, I am grateful having the opportunity to exist on this planet, regardless of my struggles and life challenges.
Sometimes, the love of one person is just enough to thrive.
I am not saying you should or should not get an abortion, but what your husband does is emotionally manipulative and actually a blackmail. I doubt he would forgive you even if you get an abortion.
It sounds like you’re in a really difficult and painful situation right now. You’re trying to balance your own values, your love for this child, and the complicated feelings with your husband. It makes sense that you feel torn and worried about how your decision will affect everyone involved.
It’s understandable that you want to honor your own beliefs and your connection with the child, while also feeling concern for your husband. These are really big decisions, and it can help to talk to a professional—like a counselor, therapist, or trusted medical provider—who can help you explore your options and emotions safely.
You’re not alone in feeling conflicted, and wanting to do what feels right for your child and yourself doesn’t make you selfish. Taking the time to reflect on your values, your responsibilities, and the support systems you have can help you make a decision that aligns with what matters most to you.
If you give birth to the child, you are solely responsible. Don't think if it as rekindling chance with your husband. Even if he compromises, things will never be the same. Its wrong to say to have abortion even if one parent wants the child, but then you will be solely responsible if your husband doesn't give a *** about that child.
Hi outofmyskin,
Thank you for being so open about something this raw and painful. You’re holding a lot right now — grief, guilt, fear, and the weight of a life-changing decision — and I can hear how deeply you’re thinking not just about yourself, but about everyone involved, especially your children.
You asked if it’s selfish to keep the child — but from what you’ve shared, your decision seems rooted in love, not selfishness. Love for your unborn baby, love for your 9-year-old, and even concern for your husband, despite the heartbreak between you. That’s not selfish. That’s someone doing their best in a devastating situation.
It’s clear this betrayal has deeply hurt your husband, and that’s real. But so is your growth since then, and the kind of mother you are now. The past shaped this moment, yes — but it doesn’t erase the good you’ve built, especially with your child.
This is an impossible feeling: being asked to choose between someone else’s healing and what your heart tells you is right for a life growing inside you. I don’t think there’s a “right” answer that makes everything okay. But I do think you deserve space to honor your values without shame.
You’re not alone in this. And whatever decision you make — you deserve support, not blame.
Be gentle with yourself. You’re walking through fire right now with so much courage.