I broke down last night over feeling excluded and it still hurts

I am a young adult with high functioning autism who moved from America to Italy. I am still learning the language and it’s really hard for me to understand what the heck everyone is saying. Yesterday, I went to watch a movie with friends. This includes the girl I have a crush on who invited me to go with them in the first place. I had no idea what everyone was saying because they spoke Italian. I had no idea what to say and I always beat myself up for not being able to come up with things to talk about and I hate myself for it sometimes. During the movie, I got separated from everyone else because this was a highly anticipated movie and everyone was getting these tickets at the same time. I texted my friend from the states that I was not having a good time. After the movie, everyone wanted to go to the mall, but I wasn’t having it. I texted my mom to see what I should do and she told me that if I was feeling uncomfortable, I should get out of there, so I told my friend that brought me to take me to his car to get my things I left there so I can call a cab. He knew something was up and told me that if I need to talk to him, he’s here for me. I vented to him and he understood and felt bad. To make things clear, I do not blame any of them. They were with people they knew longer than me and I was the only person that couldn’t speak or understand Italian very well, so of course they wouldn’t talk to me. I told my friend that I was going to give it another shot, but nothing changed. He kept checking up on me and did talk to me a bit but that was it. It sucks because they definitely knew something was up with me. When we were out eating at the mall, that was my breaking point, I told them I had to take a cab back and that I was sorry. The worst part is, they were so nice about it. My two friends went down with me to help me get the cab and the girl I like told me to let her know when I got home. It just made me feel even guiltier than I already was. It makes me hate myself. I feel like a burden to others and I have for a long time. I felt like I ruined any chance of ever being with this girl. The reason I like her so much was because she was the first girl that made me feel accepted. One of the first times I met up with her is because she wanted me to feel included and we had one of the most authentic conversations ever, but this time I felt so isolated. Again I do not blame her. She was with her best friends and probably didn’t want to deal with speaking English at the moment. I want her and everyone else to be as comfortable as possible, but damn does it hurt. It hurts just sitting there, trying to comprehend what everyone is saying combined with the fact I’ve had social anxiety most of my life. Before this too, I was doing so good mentally, and this one horrible night made me take a huge step backwards. On the taxi ride back, my friend from America I texted earlier called because he knew something wasn’t right. God bless his soul. Must’ve been really awkward for the taxi driver, but I broke down right then and told my friend everything. My friend told me I did the right thing getting out of that situation and that I probably didn’t ruin anything between me and my Italian friend and my crush. When I got home, my mom and brother knew something was up. As soon as my mom hugged me, I broke down bad. When I was able to calm down a bit, I explained the situation to my mom and she told me the same thing my friend did and that it most likely didn’t ruin anything between me and my friends. I get everything might’ve been an overreaction, but it still hurts. When I went to sleep around, 1 am I woke up an hour later and broke down again. My mom was still awake because she was worried sick after I broke down earlier. We talked a bit more and even talked to my friend again on the phone for a bit, then I went to sleep. I had to vent. Everything hurts so bad even if this is probably over the dumbest thing, but I hate it. I’m still crying over this stupidity. I need help.