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kindSpruce8353
1 1,691 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 21 Compassion hearts266 Forum posts64 Forum upvotes164 Current upvotes164 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceJune 5, 2026
Bio

I am just trying to be a better person

Recent forum posts
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I just need to rant.
General Support / by kindSpruce8353
Last post
 September 25th
...See more So I graduated today. I’m super happy about that, but there was something that rubbed me the wrong way. A group of friends from my school said that they wanted to go out after graduation. I told them I’d totally want to. No response from the group chat. Day of graduation comes and I congratulated them when they went, but when it was my classes turn, they didn’t even come to do the same. Then they left without saying anything. Someone in our group chat asked if they left? Someone said yes and they just sent that “location tracker “ thing Whatsapp does to find them, but I was just so done and didn’t even bother trying to look for them. All I’m saying is a heads up would have been so nice. A part of me hates myself for trying so hard to be their friend and I STILL want to be their friend for some reason. I get there people with their families and people are congratulating each other, but it still would have been nice to say something. If you are Italian, please tell me, is this an Italian thing?! I am a foreigner who moved here and I’ve been trying so hard to understand everyone. I feel like some of this stuff is common courtesy but I don’t know what is anymore. It also sucks because my crush was one of the people in this group as well. Regardless, I’m not going to let this ruin my night. I still had a great time with my classmates and I’m celebrating with them tomorrow as well. I just needed to get that out.
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My hangout with foreign friends ended up being a lot better than last time.
Anxiety Support / by kindSpruce8353
Last post
 September 14th
...See more I need to provide a good amount of context before I explain how it went. In my previous post, I mentioned that I was going to hang out with a friend group (my crush is also in this friend group). The last hangout with them made me feel really left out. For further context, I am someone that has moved to a different country and still trying to learn the language. This has made it really hard for me to communicate and understand people, including my friends. Back in June, I hung out with them, and it was probably one of the worst nights of my life. It was the whole reason I started 7 cups in the first place. I felt so left out and I was doing everything I can to understand what the heck they were saying. It was draining, but they aren't bad people and I don't blame them whatsoever for not engaging with me that night. They were with people that they were closer to and wanted to speak the language they were comfortable with. To be clear, I never want them to feel that they need to engage with me or having to translate for me. I want them to be as comfortable as possible around me, but that doesn't mean I didn't feel left out. I cried hard that night. Probably the hardest I have in a while.  I did talk with them about it eventually and they were very supportive thankfully. I did see them again before the very recent hangout I just had with them, but it was way too early for me and needed to get better mentally before I interacted with them again. Fast forward to yesterday, I met up with them for the first time after not talking to them for 2 months. I wanted to give them one more shot. I was more prepared because I have gotten mentally stronger and I knew this time, no matter what, I was going to choose myself instead of remaining in an uncomfortable situation. I had a better time than last time. I spoke their language most of the time, but they did do their best to check on me and see if I understood what they were saying. It felt good to say the least and I did have conversations with them finally, especially my crush who I didn't really have much of a chance to talk to the last couple of times. I ended up staying with them pretty late. Now, does that mean that there weren't moments where I didn't feel left out? Absolutely not. They're still closer to each other than I am with them and later into the night, they started checking less on me to see if I understood, but I get it. It was probably getting kind of tiring for them and I don't blame them. Doesn't mean they still didn't check by the way; it was just a lot less than earlier. However, it did get to a point where I was just it was so hard to keep up with what the heck everyone was saying. Combining that along with my social anxiety just made me PHSYICALLY and mentally exhausted, so I called a cab home. I know my limits and I needed to get out of there before I completely drained myself. When I was saying my goodbyes, my crush said she'll see me at graduation (we're both graduating next Saturday), so that was a neat. Overall, it was better than last time and that makes me happy and I am putting my faith that it is a start. Even if this was more positive, if any of you have any advice, that would be great. Thank you for listening 💙
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Wish me luck
Anxiety Support / by kindSpruce8353
Last post
 September 14th
...See more I am seeing some friends again after not seeing them for a while. This includes my crush. I felt really left out last time I hung out with them, but we talked it out and now I am giving them one more shot. I feel more confident than before because no matter what happens in the end, I am going to choose myself this time. I will no longer sit there in uncomfortable silence if I feel left out and will just get myself out of the situation. I now know I am not the problem. There is obviously still a part of me that’s nervous, but this feels different. I have a great feeling about this time, but I don’t know why. Regardless, I know I will be ok. I’ll see you all on the other side. Wish me luck.
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I’m just feeling overwhelmed over something so stupid
Anxiety Support / by kindSpruce8353
Last post
 September 8th
...See more Just needed to vent. There are moments where I feel I’ve improved with not caring about wanting specific people to care about me, but today I feel like I messed it all up because I restlessly thought about them again when I saw them on social media. My head is dumb sometimes I don’t like that there are moments where I get worked up about it. I will say I handled it better than last time so I am glad I am improving, but it sucks these thoughts are reoccurring. I’m just tired.
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There are people I have distanced myself from. I want to engage with them again, but I don't want to get hurt.
Anxiety Support / by kindSpruce8353
Last post
 September 6th
...See more Around a couple months back, I was hurt. I was with a group of friends, but I felt really left out, so I ended up leaving. I understand that they were closer to each other than I was with any of them, but it hurt a lot. I cried so hard on my way back home (poor taxi driver lol). That night was devastating for me, and it was since then that I started using 7 cups. Again, I do not blame any of them whatsoever, especially since they knew each other more. They are very kind individuals and even offered to help me get a taxi back home. I did end up telling them about it and they were all very sorry and really supportive. They knew something was wrong with me, and they had a feeling that was the reason why. I did end up seeing them again afterwards, but it had only been one time since. It was definitely better than last time, but it felt like it was too early to see them again. I was and still currently am healing from that. I HAVE gotten mentally stronger to prepare to engage with them again and other future engagements though, so I don't end up getting hurt again. That does not mean I am scared out of my mind to talk to them again. I haven't talk to them in two months, not only because I am trying to mentally improve, but because I had my final project that I completed two days ago and I did NOT want to have any anxious thoughts distract me from my work. I COMPLETELY MUTED the group chat for those two months and did not even try to look especially since I was too scared to. If anyone reached out to me on there, I really hope I did not hurt them, but I am glad I have been choosing myself. I understand that in order to be closer to them, I need to make an effort to build our relationship, despite how slow the process is. The thing is how do I know these people are worth pursuing again? Am I just setting myself for disappointment again? How do I know I will not waste my time with them? I know that in order to have these answered for me, I must man up, rip the band aid, and start talking to them in the group chat again, but I am so scared of getting hurt. 
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Thank you 💙
Newbie Hub / by kindSpruce8353
Last post
 June 30th
...See more I made a post on here recently to get advice on how to love myself more and I got such amazing advice from a good amount of you and lots of words of encouragement. I just wanted to thank you. The advice that was given to me was really helpful and despite being nowhere near where I want to be, this has been helping me get on a better path. So, thanks. Joining 7 cups was worth it and I am glad I don't regret it. Can't wait to continue improving myself on here.
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How do I love myself more and not care about trying to impress people?
Newbie Hub / by kindSpruce8353
Last post
 June 27th
...See more For context, I have self esteem issues and I depend my mood on whether or not a specific group of people interacts with me or not. It’s draining and I’ve taken a break from those people to work on myself. When (or if) I ever interact with them again, I don’t want to have that attachment or desperation for them. I want to learn to be happy with myself and that it’s not my fault whether or not people don’t want to interact with me, but sometimes it’s really hard and there are moments where I talk down on myself. Do any of you have any advice?
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