I don't know.
(Pardon the lack of structure, my mind is too foggy and I've spent over an hour writing the below)
I don't want to live (there is no reason to), everything is boring and tiring. I'm by myself like usual.
I'm 17 years old. I have Schizoid Personality Disorder and anhedonia. It feels as though my life is completely over, I feel hopelessness, extreme sadness and frustration and my suicidal thoughts are likely the result of these feelings. Additionally, I can't express any of the aforementioned, as a result of which no one understands. Despite my best efforts to express my thoughts effectively, I'm often completely misunderstood and consequently suggested what I already know. Note that I'm usually only extremely bored and burnt out for prolonged durations and that the previously mentioned are unfamiliar feelings, contradictory to my normal emotional disconnectivity.
@iarceus I don't know much about your mental illness, however I do know how it feels to be misunderstood. Having someone understand me is hugely important to me, but I have a personality type that is very hard to understand......
Something I'm really good at doing though is being able to see things from another's perspective and really try to understand how they feel and where they are coming from. I'd love to talk with you more and truly try to understand you.....
I appreciate it, but nevermind it. It's extremely exhausting and I realised I don't have the energy, so I'll not be discussing it for now. I'm also feeling feverish at the moment.
@iarceus what's nice about talking on a forum you don't have to talk about anything when you are not feeling up to it. I can just be here whenever you do have enough energy to talk. And you don't have to explain anything to me. I would love nothing more than just to be here for you.
Let's talk about things that don't take a lot of energy like:
What's your favorite color?
-Mine is Blue, not just blue, but all the different shades of blue, just depends on how I'm feeling that day. Sometimes I really like blues with more green it, and then other days I like baby blues. What about you?