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I feel like my family doesn't love me

User Profile: indigoSquare8259
indigoSquare8259 July 22nd, 2023

This is a problem I've had for a while but it started to become more apparent once my sister left for college. I'm the youngest in my family and it always feels like no one cares about me. It always feels like I am just someone who lives in the house and not actually a part of the family. My dad especially doesn't like me, or at least it seems. He always favors my sister over me and barely talks to me, and if he does talk to me he only yells at me to go do work for him or because of something I did wrong. My mom always says I can go to her if I have any problems with anything, but if I tell her about how I don't like how the family treats me, she tells me I am overreacting or says that that's not true and they don't treat me like that. When my sister is in college and it's just me with my parents at home, it's a little bit easier to communicate with my parents but the second my sister calls, I am completely ignored. And when she is home from college, I'm basically not there and I have to wait till she leaves the house to be able to say even a word to my parents about anything. If I ever bring this up, my parents and my sister just say that I don't come out of my room to talk to anyone and that's why I feel this way. But the truth is I have stopped trying to talk to my parents because no one listens to me or cares about what I have to say ever. Every time I try to interact with my family, they always bring me down and walk all over me. I am also the scapegoat and if anything goes wrong it's always my fault. My family is also very hypocritical, like my mom always tells me I look ugly with my glasses on but she doesn't let me get contacts and everyone complains about having to drive me places but they don't let me drive by myself even though I have my license. My sister also tries to create my whole life for me because she feels that since she's 2 years older than me she is much wiser but she doesn't realize that I don't want to be like her. She keeps telling me to do things that I don't want to do and she keeps trying to make me apply to certain colleges and take my dream school off of my college list because she thinks I have no chance of getting in. I feel like I can't accomplish anything until I move out because I feel so restricted and held back by my family. Every time I make a big decision and need my parents to do something to complete it (since I am still a minor) they always ask my sister what she thinks and if they should let me do something or not, and she hates me so she always says no because she doesn't want me to be "higher up" than she is or around the same level. I feel like I can't do anything by myself without asking for permission or telling them because of their judgement. I don't really know what to do because I have no one to talk to, no one listens to me ever in my family and I feel like I can't get anywhere in life life this.

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 July 23rd, 2023

@indigoSquare8259

Family dynamics are a hard thing to understand ...

sometimes parents can be closer with one child for various reasons ...... but that does not mean they do not love you.

Maybe they just understand your sister better if that is true with one parent .. the other parent may follow the lead of the other parent.

i can tell you as a parent my interactions and things have changed over the years with my kids...... no one was favored but I did get along with one better then other.... It has now changed as my daughter became a mom ...... she has a favorite and although she adores her other child they are so much alike they clash on simple things. She NO longer says her sibling was my favorite because she sees i could connect with them easier and she and i are alike and sometimes that hits us the wrong way, she sees it now.

On the asking your sister things it can be that times changed from when they were your age or they are not sure and think as your sister is closer to your age she may have a different perspective. They should just research another way it her bias is why she says No .......