I had a convo with my bro

Im a very private person 

Im very international about who I open up to and to what extent

The extent comes from previous experiences I've had with each person and how I've seen them react to other people

Life has taught me sometimes people you trust and love will use your vulnerability as a weapon against you, whether it's intentional or not so and because of this I tend to secure and keep things to myself

I also am very private with other people's trust/secrets 

I live off the notion that unless stated otherwise or I feel its an absolute necessity, I don't tell anyone anything anyone else has told me

From my standpoint its not my story to tell and I dont want anyone to think they cant trust me

I also dont lie, I may bend the truth to ensure what someone told me stays confidently but I don't lie

I'm also the youngest of 4

Im the baby and I have had the most lax version of my parents

My parents weren't as strict with me

They overlooked things they typically wouldn't

Granted I was never a "bad" kid 

I followed rules and for the most part did as I was asked

I also was an emotional support person for my parents witch I think plays a big role in why my parents were more relaxed with me, they saw me as a friend (to an extent) because I took on their emotional baggage

I also had to grow up much faster because they age cap between my eldest sibling and me was large 

I say that to say I had a long conversation with a sibling of mine last night 

They said a few things that frustrated them about me and they were right, there are areas where I fall short and that happens to be one of them, I have a reasoning behind it but that doesn't negate that I do fall short and is something I need to work on

But they said two things that after some time thinking about it frustrate me endlessly

They are frustrated with how private I am and unwilling to open up to them 

They also think I'm spoiled  

First thing is first - I will not now nor will I ever apologize for being private

They also dont give me room to be open and vulnerable, they believe that if they disagree with how you feel its there right to say it then and there and when im being vulnerable that's the last thing I want 

They also are two sensitive for me, which is fine but when im opening up to someone I dont want to think about if the words I use will make them feel some type of way

Another thing is they dont like the fact that I am private with what other people tell me, and they thing that me bending the truth is lying to them

I wont say sorry for that and I want to care that they think im lying but its hard to 

To the point that they think im spoiled

This is touchy for me because I think all youngest siblings hear that none stop

I dont know whats expected of me

Was I supposed to tell my parents to stop doing things for me?

Do they want me to apologize?

At some point they need to get over it

Im in a bit of a rush so i wont finish this they way id want but it is what it is