I have everything i need at home, yet I don't feel happy enough

It's hard to know how to start but let's say I'm 18 and I live with my parents

Here i have everything i need. Food, a family, a loving boyfriend, a clean house, a good school, a comfy bed, a phone, a laptop, plushies, figures of my fav characters, everything anyone of my age should need. But still, I feel unhappy sometime.

For example yesterday night i tried to download a game on my laptop (I don't even know if it could run properly) and my dad came up and asked me what the *** I was doing, still up and messing up with the house's internet connexion. When I explained him everything he told me "okay i'll take away your laptop." When I told him he can't since I need it for school he said he doesn't care.

I still feel hurt for this. Because I couldn't download my game ? Because I've been treated like a 10yo child ? Because I always keep my feelings inside and my brain and heart sometime explode ? I don't know.

So in order to get comfort i talked with my boyfriend. When I explained him everything, he told me I should run away from home, and come live with him because I'm only truly happy with him.

Running away ? It may be a bit too much just for this. I know I already told him stuff about mean stuff that my dad could have told me before (like always comparing me to stinky things even if I guess it's just jokes), but still I feel like it's a bit too much.

Plus, in my actual state, I can't do anything against my parents. With my low self esteem, I can't stand before them and tell them "okay I know I have litteraly everything I need here but I don't feel happy so im leaving bye" nor do anything similar.

Furthermore, when I see all these children who have been misstreated, slapped, insulted, forced to live in dirty houses or even abused by their own parents, to the point they only want to end their own life, aren't I just a gifted child ? A angry gifted child who's unhappy because the dad wants to take away their lil luminous rectangle ?

I really do feel like a child here. *** I'm supposed to be 18, I'm supposed to be free and do whatever I want by now.

To finish with the things that happened when I was messaging my boyfriend, he ended up telling me i was just refusing everything he was proposing me in order to help. Of course I was, but I would like him to understand rising against your own parents with low self esteem is harder than he thinks.

Also when I told him i needed a way to let my emotions go without being too noisy since it was night, he told me "great, like this nobody will ever know how bad you feel.".

Anyway I hope I didn't hurt his feeling at this moment.

I really am stuck here. Am I the one who's wrong here ? Should I really run away ? Should I just wait for myself to get better ? Should I blame myself ? Should I consider therapy ? Am I just a gifted teenager crying for nothing at all ? Should I fall into self harm again since it used to help me feel better ? I don't know what to do anymore. I need help.