I'm i a bad child or my parents are just weird
I grew up in an unpredictable household. My parents tried divorcing (mostly mom) when i was in 3rd (I guess or maybe 4th or 5th) grade. That's the most traumatic thing ever happened to me. The way they used to fights whole day and night. I've spent nights with no parents by my side. And they used to lock me up in a room. Full dark. The only noises I used to hear were of them fighting so loudly. Mom used to hit dad while fighting. She used to hit me as well and then used to cry and say "do i really hit you so much? Why do my friends say to me that I beat you so much? Whatever I do is for your good na? Don't you think so?" And me being a kid used to make her feel good bout herself. She kinda made my relationship with food worse. I get panic attacks whenever I see anyone fighting. Rn the thing going on in my house is that they both think I'm acting weird and abnormal. I turned 19 this year and looking at my past just makes me sick to even talk to these people. My mom has always being in an unpredictable mood and even now when I try to talk to her, it depends on her mood. If she's not in the mood she'll turn your spark down as well. My dad is ignorant I feel, idk, maybe its cause he didn't have a father through his childhood that's why. I just dont know man I dont feel like having any energy these days to cope up with them, im already stressed bout my career and future. And im in a relationship so my mom brings the topic in saying "you can talk really well with outsiders(my bf and friends) but you cant even sit for 5 mins with us". I just feel that im *** up... idk...
@chickennugget28 You've had it really rough and parents are supposed to make you feel comfortable and safe, and able to express yourself freely without walking on eggshells..
I hope that you can develop healthy relationships outside of your home environment. It took me years to figure out that I wasn't the problem, my surroundings were.
I had to find outlets, books, writing, socialising to get a break from it. I hope you'll find something you can focus on, to keep you grounded.
It can be too much.
Bro im so much thinking bout my career and future these days, and my parents, they're saying just live in the present, we have some expectations from you cant you even fullfill our minute expectations and all ***. They think I'm just being dramatic for no reason. And like they just kinda bully me in some or other way man. I wanna get over them fr at this point
@chickennugget28 Good for you, there's nothing wrong with focusing on your future and career. You'll learn so much and get challenged and thrive and it will be a blessing.
You'll be your own person. Your thoughts and feelings will be your own, not wrong, not silly, just perfectly acceptable and valid :)
Hi @chickennugget28.
You are not a bad child, your post is all about being abused and neglected.
I hope you can survive and grow up and live a productive life.
You sound like a intelligent person to me.
Keep the faith ✨
Yeah, I think you know the answer too 💙
It's obvious (at least from my perspective) that what happened to you was NOT okay 💙 you deserved better
if anyone's weird it's your mom for not understanding why you have trouble meeting with them (sorry if that was too rude I just get a little too fired up hearing stuff like this 💙) 💙
wait no I read the title wrong 💙 I thought it was "my parents are bad or im weird" 😭 they're weird
😂😂😂it's fine I'm weird too in some other ways🤣
No it's fine. I get you. The only thing is my mind eats me up fr thinking that I'm the worst daughter to not to care bout them. Ik they're my parents but growing up they've never gave me the space or the connection I needed with them. And at the end of the day I end up blaming myself that I'm just being rude. It's just a weird loop idk when I'll be able to get out of it
