I’m lost
TW
Hi, I’m Janus. I don’t know what to do next. I don’t see a path forward anymore. My mental and physical health is at it’s all time low now. My situation don’t allow me to get professional help and I’ve tried everything others on here has recommended to me. I don’t know what to do with myself. In others eyes, I’m smart and content with life. But no matter how good my results are, I feel as if anything lower than a 100 is not good enough. I used to be happy with just 70 but now I’m *** off at anything that is not perfect.
Life is boring. The things I reach for is trivial. Once you get what you wanted, you’ll only get a short moment of happiness and life gets boring again. An example of this is when a couple years ago, I was into this MOBA game. I would play it everyday and hoping I would be on top of the leaderboard one day. The day I was number one is when I quit the game. Everything gets boring once you achieve it. It’s also why I am bored of this life. i got a life and it’s unsurprisingly dull. I don’t know if there’s even a path left for me. Maybe I’ll stay where I am and hope for a miracle to happen and I would get better. But all that is just unobtainable hopes and dreams. Anyways, sorry for the rant again. Hope you have a great life. 💕
@JanusPi Happiness IS temporary BY DESIGN. Trying to find stable-state happiness is a fool’s errand. If we could achieve full on perfect happiness in any one activity we would not survive. All sex all the time, no eating. All eating all the time, no sex. Enjoying summer as if it will go on forever and without building a house, when winter comes we freeze. There are ways to find fulfillment without insisting on perfection or stable-state interest in any one activity.
@FlatenedByLife
Who knows whether there’s really a way. Happiness is defined differently by everyone.
@JanusPi You’re right, happiness has many definitions. But it’s likely that everyone ever born desires happiness. Your job is to find what makes you happy. Most people are like children at Christmas. They are excited to open their presents. They enjoy their toys for a very brief time, sometimes playing with that toy for five minutes and never again. Adults do the same. The car, the job, the relationship all bring happiness but never something that lasts. But it is said that there also exists a happiness that doesn’t depend on getting a thing or relationship or money. It might be good to learn about all the forms of happiness and especially the type that doesn’t depend on external things or conditions because toys break, jobs end, relationships end. It’s hard when these things end, but it feels much harder if a person believes they are the only things that can make them happy.
@FlatenedByLife
Thanks. I’ll try to stay sane for now. 💕
