Im so beyond over it
Im so beyond over it
The last week has been a world of emotions and some low lows
I pride myself of being nice and have work for years to be kind
I've spent years building my realtionship with God and did everything I was supposed to
and now I am tierd
Life has a way of beating the ish out of you and let me say I am black and blue
I've always fought back though and I've always fought to keep the parts of me that I view as 'good'
But im done fighting
I'll change
Being kind doesnt get you anywhere and if life wants me to be mean so bad watch me
On my relationship with God, someone once told me that it took them years to deconstruct there religon but I've been down that road already and Im not deconstructing im just stepping back and taking a break
I think to my core I will always be kind and belive in God but im tiered of fighting a fight im clearly lossing
@callmeRM you were able to be kind for so long cause as you said you have kindness in your heart. Maybe being not so kind will feel justified but it won't make you feel better<3 That type of negativity affects your heart more than it will ever affect anyone else. Not sure if anyone told you yet but I'll tell you that I'm so proud of you for keeping your kindness intact, cause I know how easy and tempting it is to be unkind in a moment of despair.
That being said, it is also important to know when to walk away from situations or people who don't deserve your kindness. Some people are not worth even a thought in our heads.
You are fighting for yourself and all that you believe in and that matters so much. I'm so sorry that it has been such a tough fight, it makes you tough fighter and you are allowed to give time for all your wounds to heal<3
I hope your break gives you time to reflect on your beliefs and that you find a way to make peace with things.