I need support

Hello there, I am 27 years old male. Since my childhood I got rejected, abandoned and bullied by almost everyone; my only two brothers used to gang up against me, my classmates once rejected my request to go home with them, 2 boys were bullying on me, my father was away almost all the time and my mother was busy with her family stuff so I used to go home everyday with many problems and no one to help or support.

When I grew up I remember this teacher who showed me care & support so I worked with him as an assistant with little money just to be with him and receive the support I never received but when I needed him to spend time with me explaining some lessons before my last year exam he told me that he doesn't have time now which made me think that he could have been using me when I considered him as a father. Then a friend who I considered to be my best friend left with other friends of his and he stopped calling or replying to me, and the girl I loved chose to marry another man.

I am not even going into how many times I heard that I am ugly, not-enough, not fun to be around. I am now depressed, have fear of abandonment, fear of rejection and don't want to be a heavy burden on anyone. I don't want to tell anyone I know about my problems as I am afraid that they can think of me as a depressing person and would go away. I also suffer from overthinking of every action or word someone says or does to me so that if something wrong in our relation I would save the relation before it is too late but I am tired of that overthinking too.

I just need them to know that I exist and I need support, love and guidance