Intense obsessive emotions

@jesuisseulemaiscavabieeenn

is it towards a person?

Oh yes. I was so obsessed with a boy. And I think I was way too annoying. I would literally sacrifice everything for him. I kept everything he gave to me. I used to overthink about it every day.

@jesuisseulemaiscavabieeenn Yes

Well this is having a favourite person when you have borderline personality disorder... so yes

I’m going through something similar to that right now. Have been for quite some time. And yes it’s about someone.

But I haven’t done anything about it yet out of respect for the possibility that they might either be in a relationship, pursuing a relationship with someone else, or currently at a point in their life where they don’t want to be with someone or don’t have the time for it bc they’re too busy or are going through a difficult time/situation. 

If I knew that this person was available and open for a relationship then I’d go for it and see what happens. 

But since their appearances are even more rarer than mine, I won’t get the chance to ask directly so I gotta go with the next best thing - ask one of their best or closest friends if they have any info on this. Based on their answers if they have any info about it, I can go for it or move on to someone else when I find them. 

@jesuisseulemaiscavabieeenn It sounds a lot like limerence.

"Limerence is an involuntary obsession with another person, distinct from love or lust. It centers on the uncertainty of whether the desired person, termed the "limerent object," reciprocates the feelings. This state involves cognitive, physical, and emotional elements, often resulting in one-sided obsessional thinking, irrationally positive views of the other person's traits, and a deep longing for reciprocation. 

Limerence can bring ecstasy if there's hope of reciprocation, with pleasure intensified to elation or jubilation at any hint of mutual interest. Individuals may replay and analyze interactions for signs of reciprocated feelings, boosting their self-esteem if they detect any. This ecstatic and obsessed state is the core of limerence. It may end with feelings of sadness, agony, or indifference, but the state is one of acute intensity that outranks all other concerns in an individual's life." 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/limerence

@jesuisseulemaiscavabieeenn whatever it is it sounds brutal. Remember you're not just a label or whatever else someone might slap on you before they earn your trust through thoughtfully, deeply and thoroughly considering who you are as a whole and showing that with respect, love and understanding consistently over time. 

Usually these people who are judgemental and jump to conclusions and say horribly dumb and hurtful things have woefully and dangerously large blind spots in their character/ experience/intelligence perpetuated by many factors. And unfortunately no, this isn't just an occasional 'quack doctor'. This could be anyone from the most papered of professionals to laypeople to influencers to family, etc..

Remember you're more than your trauma and your past, there's help and there's different kinds of help, art found to be the most effective...and don't think you're not creative. Anything can be an art. From how one walks to talks, to does chores, to dances, to learns, to thinks, makes the bed or cooks. Again, authoritarians, the ignorant, educators, anyone could be stuck in only seeing or doing things one way, when in fact there are potentially limitless ways. As children we knew this...and if we're lucky we held onto that. Many children though aren't so lucky and grow bigger, carrying the burden of their wounds.

If you haven't found a way yet, healing yet, keep looking. Rumi says "that which you seek, is seeking you also." Whatever thoughts or beliefs you have in your head that are telling you you're bad or mad or sad or difficult, that is not you. The real you is the one that has thoughts and beliefs that are great and feel great. You're great just to exist, great to be sharing and reaching out so vulnerably online, great just exactly as you are.

There's people who don't get it. Some not yet, maybe some never. They may seem to have it all figured out, but trust me, no matter what credentials, power, privilege, prestige, what job or career, followers or muscles or books published they have, they don't or can't EVER replace, replicate or research the precious and eternal knowing inside you. That is beyond their authority. Dr. Seuss said "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." They just don't. Focus on the ones who do. They rule, because they see you, and vice versa.

@jesuisseulemaiscavabieeenn

I have this emotionally obsessed thing too. Except when I stop feeling a certain way towards this person, which can take MONTHS, I feel emotionally exhausted and I’ll often fall into an emotional burnout or depression. My obsessive behavior has lasted for 5 years so far, and it’s awful! I get super anxious around the person and overthink everything but not in a crush way or an in love way but like an extremely anxious way. I could describe it more but dang it gets way worse than what I’ve said already. But it makes me feel awful cause I feel too young to feel this way.