I've been trying to learn how to disconnect my feelings from people.
I've been trying to learn how to disconnect my feelings from people. I kid you not, I have spent over half of my life seeking connection with people, and now I feel it is time for me to learn to accept that I can not connect with people. So I need to learn how to disconnect my emotions from people, because people tend to just hurt me.
@tryingtosurvive2024
Hi there. Sorry to hear this. I think one of the most important things I’ve done is to put up boundaries. It may feel difficult at first, but gets easier with time.
@RainbowRosie I just do it because people won't allow me in. They all use the same excuses with me, and no matter how hard I try to accommodate to those issues they continue to behave this way. At what point does one just give up?
@tryingtosurvive2024 Well first of all, no worries! sit with yourself, breathe in and tell yourself, this is enough, then breathe out. Breathe in and tell your self I'll be alright, then breathe out. Breathe in and smile, then breathe out. if this doesn't work simply go and talk to a tree, that always helps me.
I think there's a difference between being connected and feeling connected. I've spent half my life feeling disconnected, misunderstood and without hope that those feelings would ever change. I decided to accept being alone. In some ways, I'll always be alone because my thought process feels significantly different than those around me. I'm also an introvert... usually an extreme one.
Quite a few years back, something changed. Part of the change was how I observed and empathized with others, despite the sense of disconnected "other-ness" of them. I actually came to a feeling of unconditional acceptance of others, as long as their behavior wasn't harmful.
I don't think I can do justice in explaining the social dynamics of it, but after my feelings of "warm acceptance" towards others became manifest, little by little, a few other people started noticing me and approaching me initiating conversation. I still never assumed others would be able to understand me, but I think my introversion and quiet nature began attracting others. That's when I really discovered how comfortable people usually felt around me.
As a result, I now feel connectedness, even though it's often kind of a one way thing. It's a bit of a human nature thing too, and I can accept that. It's more common for people to try to be understood than it is for them to try to be understanding.
I feel more content and fulfilled now. I have noticed that a positive example regarding being a good listener, frequently helps others to become good listeners as well.
I believe that finding connection through sensitive and compassionate listening is a universal phenomenon. I think we can feel greater or lesser amounts of connection, but total connection doesn't seem possible. Sharing love creates a strong and valuable connection, even if the connection isn't 100%.
Some people resist connection. There's a great deal of betrayal among humans and some become too bitter to attempt trust again.
Another way of looking at it is that we're all connected, whether we like it or not, or refuse to acknowledge it. I think knowing that can help people be more willing to be merciful and forgiving.
@Spiritriver I agree on the point of we are all connected. I can't understand why some people live as if that isn't the case. We all rely on each other. Even the people that are not our friends we got to rely on them. Like we rely on doctors but they are not our friends. We rely on the people who build roads etc. We rely on people who maintain things. Yet people treat some people as if they don't exist just cause they don't fit the same box they live in.