Kaylas zone 🎀
M not really sure how any of this works? but im just scared -
Like,, im 15, about to be 16 in may, and Im so scared of literally everything. Im scared of the future- I havent even gotten my learners to yk learn how to drive
I dont have a job cus.. how would I get to a job? I dont have a car or anything. I cant get money in any way. It feels like nobody ever has time for me and im learning everything on my own.
Im scared cus what if I never learn how to drive???? What if I never get a job?? What if Im stuck livin with my mom forever?? I dont wanna do that, I just wanna have my life together already and it seems like everyone my age knows what they wanna do and what college to go to.. I dont even know if I wanna go to college!
I dont have any real classes with any of my friends this semester and I feel really alone.
First block - No friends in there !! I sit at a table with one girl and she doesnt like me, she literally saw me sitting by myself at the one table in the back, which *** she wanted to sit at, and she huffed and sighed the entire time she sat with me. (i cried and had 2 leave class cus I felt so lonely and unsure of how anything was going to go yesterday )
Second block - two friends (my only real friends!)
Fourth block - two people I talk to ( i dont even sit near them!! its a math class and everyones so spread out its overwhelming, nd theres people in there who laugh at EVERYTHING and it makes me so embarrassed)
Fifth block - two, but we're spaced out, and when we do group work, they work together 'nd im sitting in a back corner all by myself
My scheduling didnt work out at ALL like I wanted it to and I just feel like I have no control over anything thats gonna happen to me- I feel really lonely and stressed out and Ik this all sounds like so overdramatic or something but I dont care anymore
Am I gonna be this useless forever??? will i never have my life together?? I dont have any real hobbies that I like and Idk what to do, I dont have any aspirations to have a cool job like a lawyer, or a doctor or real estate agent person
Is a retail job that embarrassing and bad..? I wouldnt mind working one but.. Im scared to be yelled at by random people and to mess up 'nd have a lady yell at me or my boss yellin at me. What do I even do at this point?
o gosh I typed alot- anyways my first day was yesterday, 'nd I go back again on monday.
I think i was jist really overwhelmed or something on friday, cus I was wearing a new outfit.. with shoes that hurt my feet, pants too tight, shirt with no sleeves and it wasnt something id usually wear
(Im ALWAYS wearing sleeves, I like to hide in them a bit)
So.. I guess I was a bit more prone to freaking out :((
@mmentoos wraps you in a cosy blanket and cuddles you up ❤ the stresses of school are hard enough without separating you from your friends😞 and retail jobs, their not bad at all, millions of people work at them, and their happy ❤ you know the people who don't know what their doing in life who just work to live and not live to work, they are the happiest people you'll meet. Life is not a race so try not to worry to much about the future.driving. Seems to be important to you, maybe focus on that for now ❤gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ let's you know it will all be ok