Learning to let them Go
Long story short a family member has disieded to stay distant, they are not no contact but becouse of the rode life has taken them on by defult its become little contact
I was with them recent for an exteneded period and I predicted this would happen, that they would pick there chosen family over there blood one, that evenutaly they would stop talking to us and only reach out when they needed something
Im not mad that life took them where they are, in a lot of ways its where they have allways wanted to be
Im not even mad that they are barly in my life
Im sad that my siblings no longer have someone they consiidered a sibling, that my cousens dont have there number let alone respond if they texted, Im sad that my parents barely talk with somone that they considered a chiled
Im mad becouse my parents talk with them twice a year, get there hopes up and get disapointed
I think in some ways it feels like we are not enough
It feels like they are rejecting us
I think thats what hurts the most
I see them online with there chossen family and it hurts, seeing what you predicted come true
I know comuncation is a two way rode and there is a reason that im the one they are closest with
I was intentional in staying in contact but I learned to stay in contact I had to change who I was in order for them to exept me, for a long time I thought I was ok with that til I coudent A. mold myself to the person they wanted anymore and B. was sic of constatly getting rejected for who I natrualy am
Comunication is a two way street but compation is aswell
Anayways im learning how to morn somoneone that I know will be in my life till my parents go (Witch isnt for a verrrrrrrrrry long time), even if its jut a call every other quorter
My brother told me to let them go but for me when its somone that at some point was that close to you, when its the one person I had contatly activly tryed to have them stay in my life - its hard
Maby thats it, when I was molding myself I was doing so to stay in there life but they never even tryed to stay in mine
I just wanted them to stay connected with there fammily and maby they are, its just not there blood family
I dont know, Im just learning to let them go
Learning to let go of someone who’s still technically in your life, even if only occasionally, is really hard. It’s a kind of mourning, as you said. It's about coming to terms with the fact that the relationship isn't what it used to be and may never be again. It's okay to feel all these emotions – sadness, anger, disappointment. Give yourself permission to grieve this change. And remember, it's also okay to protect your own well-being and step back if trying to stay connected is causing you more pain.
