Leave it!

Hi everyone. Bright A Day here.

It’s been a while. Maybe you forgot how I write, but I haven’t forgotten how I feel.

This theme isn’t something I can write about from a safe distance. It’s not a theory. It’s something I’ve had to carry in my stomach, through my throat, and back into silence.

I didn’t disappear from the forums because I didn’t care. I disappeared because I cared too much. About people. About moments that slipped away. About things I couldn’t fix, even when I gave the softest and strongest parts of me to try…

And I left some people behind.

People I loved.

Not because I stopped loving them… but because I realized they never really loved me in a way that made me feel like I existed when I wasn’t useful.

And that hurt. Deeply. More than I like to admit.

Leaving isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s crying in the kitchen with the light off. Sometimes it’s deleting a message you never got to send because you already know the silence you’ll get back.

Sometimes it’s realizing that holding on is no longer a kind thing to do not to them, and especially not to yourself.

“Leave it” doesn’t always mean walking away from a person.

Sometimes it’s leaving an idea of who you thought you had to be.

Sometimes it’s letting go of a version of yourself that only existed to survive.

Sometimes it’s burying something that once felt like home, because you now know it was a house built on apology and pretending.

I don’t have perfect advice.

I just know that when I finally let go, really let go I started breathing differently. Like my lungs remembered how to be mine again.

So if you’re reading this and there’s something (or someone) you’ve been gripping too tightly…

Ask yourself: What is it costing me to keep this?

And if the answer is your peace, your worth, your sleep, your self-respect then maybe, just maybe, it’s time to leave it. Believe me.

Not because you’re giving up. But because you’re finally coming back to yourself.🫶🏻

With all the love I couldn’t give elsewhere,

~Bright A Day