Living with a monster
I am currently in a long-term relationship but have been unhappy for more than half of it. My partner doesn't seem to care at all about being supportive or meeting my needs. I have read all the books, did all the research, had many frustrating conversations. He refuses to go to counseling. I've given up and now I just want out. It feels like it's been a slow death of sorts, and I spent years blaming myself, letting my health and self-esteem fail. I've prayed and cried a million tears. But slowly I am starting to realize that maybe it isn't me, that this selfish, unpredictable man is really just an expert manipulator. A narcissist. The truth is devastating that I may have wasted so many years and so much love. I don't want to live with someone who mocks my pain and can sit callously by watching me suffer. Who just doesn't care. I love you means nothing when backed by actions that only contradict. Trying to find the courage and support to leave safely. Thanks to everyone here for listening. 😘
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I truly hope things work out for the best in your relationship. And if you ever find yourself feeling alone and need someone to talk. I'm here
May you find peace in your journey and may the wind be at your back as you move forward
Thank you for opening up. When I say I truly understand, it’s because I’ve walked that path too—you are absolutely not alone in this.
Your peace and happiness are deeply important. Please honour yourself by choosing what’s genuinely best for you and brings true rest to your soul. You deserve that.
@LucyDW
currently at this moment I feel like I am the monster or was. I don’t know at the moment. I’ve been trying to get help with my emotion control and that stuff but problems and arguments still come up I feel like now even a little more then usual, I don’t know what to do. I’m trying my best with trying to communicate but it feels over looked and not cared for. I’m 21 turning 22 this month. I live with my girlfriend for about 3 years now and been together for about 6. I’ve had issues in my life with parents and women and stuff. So I’m not the best when it comes to communication or feelings like that. But recently it’s been getting worse and I’ve been trying to put my therapy process on over drive because I really can’t crack what’s going on. I try to communicate my feelings but after a certain point my body goes into like a fight or flight and I panic. I just feel so unimportant and small so I compensate with yelling and anger. I don’t want to end up like my father. I’m sorry for rambling I just saw ur post and thought I’d ask you opinion since you seem to be on the other side of this. I can’t understand whats happening I feel as if I’m trying the hardest I can and she’s just over looking it all, while at the same time feeling like I could do so much more. Any tips on what u think I should do, or what you would’ve wanted done in your relationship before it’s too late.
@Nathangoins10 The fact that you are aware that you have an issue and are trying to work through it is awesome! In my situation, he knows his behavior is rotten but doesn't seem to care anymore. Maybe he is taking it for granted that I will always be here, but I've passed the breaking point. Everyone is different, but for me if I am talking to my man about something that has me upset whether it be work stress or something in our relationship, if he is blowing me off and not listening or telling me I'm too sensitive, he is adding to my already stressed-out state when all I wanted is a little comfort and reassurance. But the absolute worst thing is when I am being vulnerable and sharing something with him, and he immediately starts yelling and hitting the wall with his fists, acting like how dare I bother him with my needs. Its terrifying and I just shut down and cry. Its basically like kicking someone when they are already down. What I wished he would do is hug me and show compassion and say things like "I am sorry you are feeling stressed. Let's try to plan something fun together." etc.. But that never happens. Partners who love each other should feel safe talking about things together on the hard days. Good luck Nathan. I am cheering for you. :)
He doesn’t deserve your love I’m happy you realised no one should have to go through that alone so I hope you had some family or friends supporting you and loving you ☺️
