Lonely
I have been feeling extremely lonely since the past few months. I hate to admit this but there's actually no one left in my life whom i can call up and rant even just for a few minutes. I have had such horrible experiences whenever i have tried to share in the past and it scares me to do that again because in those times it had triggered my anxiety and it took me a long time to recover from it.
A lot of my friends are very comfortable to rant to me and share to me because i have tried my best to make it a comfortable space for anyone that's around me and be respectful of their feelings at the same time. I don't do this as an expectation to be rewarded, i just do it because it seems like the right thing to do. I have become used to being the listener in a conversation always and honestly considering the situation im honestly ok with being the listener for my friends or family.
The thing that bothers me so much is that i really wish i could have someone be a listener for me as well. And not just a listener but understand at the same time, be considerate and be respectful at the same time. I don't want anyone to say "I'm here for you" and when the time comes for me to open up its like I'm standing in front of a completely different person.
So many times i have been told that I'm victimizing myself or they have become angry with me or tried to talk over me or laughed at me or distanced themselves from me when the saw me anxious and depressed. I have also been called weak and incapable when i started taking anti anxiety pills.
I usually used to call my mom when i felt anxious but since the past few years she has been really sick and already in a lot of stress that i feel guilty to add more to it.
A friend of mine always asks how are you always so calm and listen to everyone's rants, i just smile and shrug. But only on the inside i know how much i want to be able to do the same.
(Sorry for such long post lol. But if you have read it till here thank you so much<3)
@limegreenHuman9402
Wanting to be validated and listened to is completely understandable. It sounds like you feel the attentiveness and time you make for others is not reciprocated in the same way. I imagine that makes things feel very lonely no matter how wide or small your social circle may be.
The desire to be truly heard and not just have someone waiting for their own turn to speak must feel very one-sided if you feel that those who have promised to be there for you have not stepped up to the plate when you needed them. I can understand why that might make you less sure about opening up and exacerbate anxious emotions.
I think it very unfair that anyone has said or done anything to make you feel bad about taking medication for your anxiety. It is sad when people jump to conclusion, and I believe that many times people who say negative or dismissive things do not actually realise how much it hurts. You following a health professionals advice and taking the prescribed medication is a sensible and proactive thing....you need not feel bad about it. It is you taking charge of your challenges and meeting them head on. That is a thing to be proud of.
It's scary opening up, and it can feel like wearing the smile as a mask is the only thing that is possible. But it doesn't sound like it is making you happy. I hope you find the confident who will be reliable and attentive so that you can be the one who has their burdens listened to, and let's you open up and share in the way that you feel helps you best.
Thankyou so much. I appreciate it❤️
hi! that sounds like a difficult situation to be in, it’s hard moving through life when you feel like you can’t truly talk to anyone. i hope you know that you deserve understanding people who cherish you and actually want to listen to your problems. you deserve people who will look at you with sympathy and see you as the person you are, rather than switching up on you. you’ll find people who are thoughtful and considerate about your problems, whether that be sooner or later. but until then, i hope you keep your heart open. i hope you’re able to trust someone soon enough to open up to them. you deserve all the best!! and feel free to dm me if you ever want to talk :)
Thankyou so much 😊
@limegreenHuman9402 hi, I hope you found someone to listen to you. If not, you can reach out to me. Take care, there are good people o out there
Thankyou! Means a lot😊
I just wanted to take a moment to remind you of something that I hope you never forget: you matter, and your life has incredible value. I know that loneliness can be one of the hardest feelings to carry. It has a way of making the days seem longer, the nights quieter, and the heart heavier. But even if it feels like you've been alone for a long time, please don't believe that you are forgotten or that you have to face everything by yourself.
Sometimes life puts us through seasons where we feel unseen, misunderstood, or disconnected from the people around us. Those moments can make us question our worth, but the truth is that your worth has never depended on how many people are around you. You are important simply because you are you. Your kindness, your strength, your dreams, your laughter, and even your struggles make you a unique person who has something beautiful to offer the world.
I want you to know that brighter days can still come. The loneliness you feel today does not have to define the rest of your story. Every sunrise brings another opportunity for new friendships, new experiences, and unexpected moments of joy. There are people who will appreciate your heart, value your presence, and be grateful to know you. Sometimes those people simply haven't crossed your path yet.
Please don't give up on yourself. Continue believing in your dreams, taking care of yourself, and opening your heart to the possibility of better days. Be gentle with yourself when things feel difficult. Celebrate even the smallest victories, because every step forward is still progress.
And remember this: you don't have to pretend to be strong all the time. It's okay to have difficult days. It's okay to admit when you're hurting. That doesn't make you weak—it makes you human. There are people who care about you more than you may realize, and I hope you never hesitate to lean on them when you need support.
I hope today gives you at least one reason to smile, even if it's something small. I hope you find moments of peace, hope, and comfort. Most of all, I hope you never stop believing that you deserve love, kindness, and happiness. You deserve to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about you, and I truly believe those moments are ahead of you.
Until then, please remember that you are not defined by your loneliness. You are defined by your courage to keep going, your heart that continues to hope, and the wonderful person you are becoming. Keep your head up, keep your faith strong, and never forget that you are valuable, appreciated, and deeply deserving of a beautiful life.
Take care of yourself, and always remember—you are stronger than you think, more loved than you know, and your best days are still ahead of you.
Leave me a message so we can talk better.
Thankyou so much for your kind words. It really means a lot❤️
