Looking dead inside
So I've been struggling for a long time now and I never wanted to look happy just for the sake of others but I got so many remarks that I have an RBF or that I just look mean and unfriendly. I am just dead inside! Like I mean no harm I just feel empty on the I side and I don't wanna put a mask just to please you all. I wish I had the courage to speak up because these remarks made me so uncomfortable.
@schrodingerscattt
haha we relate on so much I see. I get this a lot, I’m getting to a point where I am learning to allow people to make those assumptions about me while also doing my best to make progress so that I don’t have to look or feel so mean.
@lovingCup504
Honestly at this point i don't care. Others can make whatever assumptions they want. I don't want to put a smiley face just for them. If i feel bad i shouldn't try to hide it if i don't want to. What makes me mad is that it's women who are told to smile. Nobody tells a man to smile or have a happier face. It's so annoying.
@schrodingerscattt
i definitely am still working on not caring, so it’s really good you’re coming to that conclusion. for me I could be like on the brink of tears every time but I keep a straight face., even smile. Emotional honesty or being honest in general about how I feel has always been hard for me and I agree, being a woman doesn’t help either. it’s like we can never have a bad day or the world/ the people around you automatically cast you away and make quick judgements about who you are and label you all kinds of things. I hate it too. I just want to be “not in the mood” in peace. Me having a bad day or an attitude isn’t my whole personality.
@lovingCup504 same here, I work so hard to make it look like I'm alright while I feel like crying and just retreating into a hole where no one can see/judge me. I try to make it seem like i don't care when someone insults me and i agree with them even if I don't. It slowly crushes me lol
