Maybe it's time to give up
I've been told that I have a great voice since I was a little kid. Growing up, I've always dreamed to cover a song. I don't want to show my face, just my voice. However, just singing alone in my room always makes me think that people outside of my room will hear my voice, also the neighbors. My parents once said that they heard me singing and that made me REALLY embarrassed. Now every time I sing and hear footsteps, I immediately go quiet.
I always tell myself "Today's the day!" and that "today" becomes tomorrow, the next day after tomorrow, the next day again, eventually, years. I really want to sing. I want to be like those people who cover song. I want to sing songs that I like. I want to sing with other people. Yet I'm too.. let's just say, embarrassed and scared, to even press "record".
It's just the same with drawing. Spent the whole of my life drawing. But then one day I just can't seem to move my pen on my pen tablet. My ideas were overflowing, yet my hand wouldn't move. I see my friend-who's a very popular artist on Twitter (X), and it made me jealous yet want to be like her at the same time. So I tried and tried and tried to get back on my feet and practice, but I just.. I can't. I don't even know what I'm saying right now but I feel like I'm starting to hate drawing and singing. The only things I'm good at in life and it has been going on years and years.
I think my traumas and depression from back then has nothing to do with this. I just think that I'm really not cut out for drawing and singing. Maybe it's really time to stop. The more I try, the more I'm going nowhere. Yet at the same time, I'm also not going anywhere if I stop. I thought I loved drawing and singing. Why do I always have to give up on everything that I love? Do I really not cut out for this?
There's still lots of thing that I wanted to say, but I don't know the words to use. I'm sorry for the bad grammar.
@rrgennn Hello. Just gone through your post and felt the pain you had gone through. One mistake we all often make is we do the stuff just to please the world out not to get our inner satisfaction. I’ve not heard you singing but i am sure you sing very well because you love to sing. I’ve not seen your drawings but I swear you’ll be one of the best artist.
All I am saying is just keep your dreams and voice alive. Keep singing loudly and don't stop moving you fingers.
From now onwards just sing for yourself and draw to satisfy your inner soul. Don’t let the world ruin your dreams because it’s your life and you have to live it by your own rules and wishes.
Stay blessed and let me know when next you sing and feel inner satisfaction.
I do the same! I’m so embarrassed to sing… even though I have a good voice.
@rrgennn
I was once afraid to write even though it's one of my passions. It hindered my ability to feel like myself...
I don't want to push you into a box. I've been labelled before and it's like a prison. You strive to be what others perceive you as. It's not pretty.
But if singing and drawing are truly your passions, try to find a way. You may just have to find the proper expression. Maybe just sing in the shower so the water drowns you out. Maybe draw simpler things just to get something on paper.
You don't need to go to the moon to appreciate its beauty. Just find a way to be true to yourself, even if its in the smallest of ways.
@rrgennn if singing and drawing make you happy, then do it for you, life is too short to let it hold you back because ultimately what matters is being happy in what we do 💜🥰