My brain is wired wrong and I have no idea why, I can't cope with it.

My brain is incredibly bad at its job and all it does is bring me more pain. I can handle maths and sciences really well, my brain adores the logic pathways and finds them really fun to traverse, but English figurative analysis and essays and creative writing just make my brain freeze up. It feels like I'm diving into an infinity pool of ink with concrete boots on each time, and so far I've just been improvising well enough to get good marks but it's not working anymore. Tone makes no sense to me, I can't pick up on the emotions and similar caused by text, I can't figure out heads or tails of it and it is just killing me. I can't communicate with people at all because I can't read tone or body language well and I screw up every single *** social interaction, every single friendship because I suck at it and I just end up lonely. My brain gets stuck in random channels - if that makes any sense - of topics it wants to think about, and I keep talking about the same *** stuff like a boring piece of crap, I feel like an NPC. I feel broken, I feel malformed, I wish I was normal, I would give up everything to have a normally wired brain. I can't deal with this, if I'm not built perfectly then my parents may get weird again and I can't have them scream and punch the walls again I'm too tired for this. I want to physically gouge out my brain from its meat socket and forcibly rewire it at this point, maybe then it'd be better and I could be a normal functioning human not a barely strung together mess who is pretty damn sure that everyone makes fun of them behind their back and ya know what fair on them I deserve it, I'm a screw up by God.