My life is mess

Within 2 1/2 years I discovered my husband was in an emotional affair online that all but destroyed me and our marriage. Last June I had neck surgery and 6 days after, I caught him texting her and finally blew up. I ended up with bruises on my arms from him. That evening my son stopped by and seen them and called his sister. I left him for 2 weeks staying with my daughter. I filed a police report which led to him arrested. I ended up coming back to work on our marriage against my kids advice. Because of that they both wouldn't have anything to do with me and him. No texts, calls and was even deleted and blocked on their social medias. I missed my granddaughters 3rd birthday and the birth of my grandson for almost a year. Depression and anxiety took over and suicide was constantly on my mind. I got counseling and medication which helped me find myself again. My daughter still won't have anything to do with her Dad. He hasn't met our grandson who turned 1 last week. I am caught in the middle heartbroken that my family is broken. Things here are far from perfect and I am exhausted from doing my best to fix it. He just recently stopped talking to her butthe trust isn't there. My mind filled with doubt and worry. For 20 years our marriage was not perfect but it was good , I love him and want to be with him. I know I am rambling and forgetting several things but I needed to vent. I have no friends and no family, hardly leave the house alone unless it's to see

my daughter and grandkids. If anyone is still reading and are interested in possibly a friendship please respond. Thank you!