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My partner just came out as trans and I am lost

User Profile: adventurousRaspberries8330
adventurousRaspberries8330 August 5th, 2023

Last night my husband of 6 years came out as trans (male to female) and while I support her and want to help her feel comfortable in her body it's really stressed me out. I hate change and this is kinda a LOT and I feel so unsure about everything rn. I also feel like I can't talk to my partner about this because I don't want to make her feel bad about who she is more than she already does. I also don't want to make the situation about me if that makes sense. I can't talk to my family about it and am scared I'm going to lose everything

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User Profile: CalmRosebud
CalmRosebud August 6th, 2023

@adventurousRaspberries8330

It makes sense that you feel stressed and unsure about such a major change, especially if you hate change. It's important to recognize that it's okay to have mixed feelings and that your feelings are valid. You can support and validate your partner without suppressing your own emotions and needs. You deserve to have your feelings and concerns heard, just as your partner deserves to have their identity validated. It's not about choosing one over the other, but finding a way to support each other through this change.


If you feel like you need an extra outlet, consider seeking support from a therapist or support group. This can provide you with a safe space to process your feelings and explore new coping strategies. Additionally, try communicating with your partner about your concerns in a non-judgmental way and work together to create a plan that supports both of you.