Not much changed
Hello. I am Janus. It’s been around 2-3 weeks since I started using this website. Is it just me but live chats sometimes made me feel worse about myself? Sometimes I just get a how are you and then left there for hours. It made me overthink so much every single time it happens. Even if there are some listeners that I truly appreciate. who even checks up on me once in a while. The relationship felt… untrue? I still felt lonely even after talking to listeners.
Maybe it’s because I don’t have a real friend. Every person who texted me or talked to me in real life had a ulterior motive. They would always ask for something. Texting on this website felt like I was being pitied upon. Rather than helping me, I felt worse about myself. I know listeners don’t have bad intentions and it’s just me being problematic. But I just can’t help it but feel depressed every time talking to someone on here. Sorry for the rant. I really am not hating on listeners. I know it’s just my problem. Sorry once again if I offended anyone.
@JanusPi Hello Janus,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. It's completely okay to express how you've been experiencing the l chats on this website. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to address them.
Feeling misunderstood or left hanging after a simple "how are you" can be disheartening. It's true that not every interaction online, including live chats, will provide the deep and meaningful connection we seek. It's not uncommon for people to have mixed experiences. I understand that the overall experience may still leave you feeling lonely and unsupported.
It's important to remember that it's not your fault, and you're not being problematic for feeling this way. Loneliness can be a challenging emotion, and it can be amplified when we feel like we're not forming genuine connections.
If you ever want to talk more about your feelings or if there's anything specific you'd like to discuss or ask, please feel free to share. Remember that you're not alone in feeling this way, and there are listeners here who genuinely want to support you through your journey.
Take care, and don't hesitate to reach out whenever you need to talk or vent.
@Mya000
Thank you! 💕 I’ll try my best even though I am really pessimistic. ☺️
@JanusPi You're welcome! Taking things one step at a time and can make a difference. Keep pushing forward, and I'm here if you need encouragement. You've got this!
@JanusPi
Hey there, Janus. Welcome to 7 Cups. I'm also pretty new here.
The site can certainly be hit or miss, especially with the live chats, and groups, and then the forums, and the academy, and training, and path work.
So people certainly get busy, and if you become a listener and try to field some chats you'll find there's a lot of ghosting. People replying back hours later then expecting you to get right back to them immediately.
Patience is always super important in life, and especially these days when it seems like no one has free time anymore to just listen or have meaningful conversations.
Expecting your loneliness to just vanish overnight is certainly being optimistic!
I don't really think the listeners here have ulterior motives beyond listening to you and doing our best to follow the guidelines of the process to help you figure things out for yourself.
Empathy is not pity. It's very much not pity to relate with someone and want to empower them to wake up from the darkness, to step into the sun from 'the shades'(bad weather) people dump on you.
It is absolutely your problem. That's good that you're aware of that. The thing is, you also have the solution to your problem, and no one else does. Even if we could somehow verbatim the answer you exactly need (I believe you'll find), it won't be the right time to give you the answer now because it wouldn't make any sense. You wouldn't be ready for the "self truth" you need to illuminate inside of yourself.
You do have the answers inside of you. And those will change over time, and that's okay.
This place is made to rant, so you don't have to be sorry, you've owned your feelings and hopefully don't hold judgements against others, so no worries. Take care of yourself. Maybe go to the library and check out the self-help section or some fiction to relax (or maybe scare yourself with, it is October!)
Namaste,
Pine
