"One thing I've been afraid to share, but feel safe sharing here is..."
We know that 7 Cups is a very unique and special place where many find a sense of safety and understanding. Our empathy-and-inclusivity-powered community encourages us to be our whole selves, including the parts you feel are broken.
It's often in sharing those very parts, the thoughts, feelings, and experiences we've held close out of fear of judgment or vulnerability, that the most powerful moments arise.
I'd like to remind us how deeply connected we are with a prompt! Members, if you're comfortable sharing, please allow us the privilege of knowing a little more about your journey:
"One thing I've been afraid to share, but feel safe sharing here is..."
one thing I fear sharing is that Im a drug addict.
I’m proud of you for sharing that. <3
@Heather225
When I was four I was abused by two older cousins and that permanently made me shameful.
I’m so sorry :(
@Heather225 One thing I feel afraid to share, but feel safe sharing here, is how deeply pornography has ruined my life. I had become addicted to increasingly "Dark" porn it made me project these fantasisies in my life and made me want to be trans. Yes there is nothing wrong with being trans, but In my opinion, it just wasnt for me, like deep down I knew that this isnt the path I wanted to go down. But I still walked on this path. It took me long before I finally decided to take a U-Turn and get on track. When on june 7th 2024, I made the decision to NEVER come back to porn again. And I stuck with it, but the remains of the brainwashing remained - of being emasculated, and still do exist. Then, I later also got addicted to mastubration.
....that I suffer from social fobia. I feel I do not lack compassion for helping others, but to do that I now need taking good care of myself. Hoping my actions at 7 cups will get me there. Lots of love to everyone!!
One thing I’ve been afraid to share but feel safe sharing here is that I’m in a loop of can’t let go my ex virtual partner. Even tho we don’t have anything sexual or even flirty for almost a year now I can’t seem to break the cycle of wanting to keep contact with him… I tried to let go twice for months but everytime I felt more obsessed that I couldn’t talk to him and constantly checking all his socials so I went back to “talking” with him friendly, if that considers talking. The thing is I feel embarrassed of myself and I know this is unhealthy and I should just let go but I can’t! Everytime I tried I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t cope the everyday life. Nothing seems to help even tho I am in a relationship now 🙈
thank you for reading this and please help me with your thoughts or experiences! 💕
@forcefulMelon6559 I admire your honesty and your courage in sharing your story. I can hear the pain behind it. Sometimes in life, we are not seen and we can let others people shape how we see ourselves, thus can be negative and even though it's not true, we find our worth in how other people see us. When we experience trauma, or bullying or low self esteem, we can be lonely or vulnerable to people and anyone who is nice or gives us attention can become a lifeline, even when they are not good for us. You got through your day by talking to this person, the day didn't drag, was bearable, something to look forward to, but any relationship be it, virtual, romantic or friendship, needs the following ingredients, respect, shared effort, honesty, allowing us to be ourselves, accepting our boundaries, its not healthy. You are not stupid for reaching out or crying, but you have to get to the core of the problem and tell yourself you need more, that starts with love and respect for you. Let yourself enjoy your relationship not a ghost that keeps you hanging on while not giving you anything. You should have butterflies when you get a message, you should be inundated with messages and compliments and cutesy updates about their day, you should have someone that sees you and dries your tears, not causes them. You deserve the world and don't be embarrassed, our lowest points and our mistakes teach us valuable lessons on what not to accept and from the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the happiness in the world 🥰
When I'm depressed and lonely, I derive pleasure from thinking and seeing people in misery and helplessness. I'm terrible I'm a bad person. Even tho I'm also in misery and I have felt helpless. Yet I'm soo cruel twisted. It's only momentary but I hate it. I don't like it. I'm a monster.
One thing I feel i can share here is .... I have known physical abuse from an ex partner. Lived mostly in fear for 8 years, until I left. The signs were obvious cuts and bruises etc. Only I swore I would never allow myself to be a victim of this again.
Now I am a victim of emotional abuse , which is hard to recognise .Mr nice guy who will not put a finger on you . Only will lull you into a false sense of security. Make you feel as though you are incapable of anything without them .
If they upset you with cruel words , they will reassure you that it's you that is too sensitive. They will use words to hurt you and make you believe that you will be nothing without them . They will be warm and loving and the next cold and cutting .
They make you doubt your own common sense and twist your words .
You won't see the damage they do maybe you never will. They will make you withdraw from social events. Making you think that others even family are making a mockery of you .
When you react to their verbal assault they will be quick to make you feel like you have got it all wrong and misheard what they say .
Then when they know they have taken your self confidence away . Made you feel like no one else would want you and no one cares. They will belittle you when you cry and will tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself . With hold love and affection from you and watch you suffer. Call you crazy tell you that you need help.
The person who was physically abusive , felt remorse for what they did . They will be sorry for what they did and won't do it again . But they do and they will.
The emotional abuser takes your self respect and morals and crushes them . So that its harder to come back from.
Recognise the difference and get out while you can .
That I don't know if I can ever get better. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to stop cutting entirely. I'm not sure if I'll ever totally recover from my eating disorder.
I hear you. I believe recovery is possible. I made it to the other side some time even though I'm struggling right now.
Sending so much love!
One thing I've been afraid to share, but feel safe sharing here, is that I relapsed on my eating disorder after so many years in recovery. The thing with purging disorder (OSFED) is that there aren't drastic changes on the outside, so it's hard for others to notice because it doesn't fall into the stereotypical look of an ED.
I know it's hard, but I still believe recovery is possible.
Tw// that I have gone through so many bad things and therefore am terrified of my future being just as terrible. I'm afraid of doing badly on my college exams, and picking a bad major, having a job that makes me want to jump out the window (metaphor). I'm afraid of never being thinner, afraid of never being loved by a guy or finding someone to love and grow with, possibly not being able to have children because of a current health issue (although this isn't the worst on the list). Also a weird feeling that the people around me could die at any time (not too strong though), don't know why but because cats don't live forever, I'm afraid that the one who visits me will die someday, unexpectedly. I love him too much.
A lot I know. I'm sorry about the length. 💜
