Please need advice!!
So, for context I have been a porn addict since I was about twelve years old, and it ruined me. It makes a lot of time that I haven't watched porn, but only now after so many years I'm feeling guilty about what I saw. I saw the most disgusting things a person could think of, and I mean, utterly disgusting, things that only sick people would enjoy. At the time I liked these things, and I'm not talking about BDSM, I'm talking about criminal things, I feel so disgusted with myself because why would someone seek out these things out of pure will and still enjoy them. I didn't understand the consequences of what I saw, but now that I'm an adult, I understand, and I obviously don't and wouldn't do what I did, and they are things so absurd that nowadays I wouldn't even think about doing them, that they make me question who I am. Am I a zoophile? A pedophile? A sexual deviant? I have OCD, and when I remember these things I have groinal responses and it feels like ***. I feel so bad... Do I deserve happiness? I do not want to be a bad person.
You obviously aknowledge what you did wrong when you were younger and you didn’t know any better. There will definitely be people out there like you who feel incredibly guilty for watching things like that when they were younger, or even thinking about things like that or even actions like that. It takes a while to be introduced to that world and to understand to the extent as how bad it was.
if you were to talk to your twelve year old self, or past self, would you describe them as weird or strange? Or if you saw another person your age discovering something like that? Truly you would understand that you didn’t know any better and unfortunately you found out in a difficult way and I am really sorry that you did.
I really hope you can forgive yourself and understand that you are not a bad person but just didn’t have the correct information at the time. You deserve everything and I hope you have the most amazing day we are all here for you! x
@quietDay6527 🙁 back then you were just a kid yourself. I think it's time you just forgive yourself. What most people don't realise is, that a lot of porn, is underage girls being abused😥 I'm just glad you stopped this horrible addiction🙂
It was difficult, but after so many years I managed it and now I help with rehab and anti-porn causes..
@quietDay6527 I'm so proud of you ❤ I really am ❤❤ please know though, it's time to forgive your younger self 🙂❤
Hello,
I appreciate you for having the courage to share your deepest concern. I am also glad you no longer watch them. Not many people have the will to break the habit. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. The fact that you feel bad about something you did years ago says a lot about your character! You are a good person. Don’t blame yourself. Blame those creators which made it easy for a 12 year old access it in the first place. Be brave and know that you’re a good person and only because you’re good you are feeling bad right now. Sending a bunch of light and positivity your way🌸
