Plot twist: I didn’t vanish, I was buffering…
I’ve been away for a few months, mostly trying to breathe, rest, and just be. Truth is, I wasn’t okay. And I didn’t want to fake being okay. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is just pause. So I did.
But now I’m back and not just like, “hey guys, what’s up,” but back with a heart that’s a little bruised, a little wiser, and a whole lot more real. If you’ve ever felt like life hit pause but everything inside you kept racing… yeah. That was me. And let’s be honest, you can’t pour from an empty cup… especially not when it’s cracked, leaking, and possibly filled with iced coffee and unresolved childhood trauma.
So here’s what I’ve been thinking about lately (in between naps and existential crises):
Why do we never talk about the in-between days?
Not the worst days. Not the best days.Just the weird, numb, “meh” days where you’re not falling apart but not exactly thriving either.
Like… you showered today, but you also ate cereal for dinner and ignored 12 texts. That kind of day.
What’s your “I’m holding it together… barely” habit?
Mine’s rewatching the same comfort show 87 times and pretending that counts as self-care.
Also, snacks. So many snacks.
Let’s get real, let’s laugh a little, maybe cry in a cute way , and just remind each other we’re not alone in this wild, awkward middle part of the healing journey.
I missed this space. I missed you.
Now someone please tell me what I’ve missed and can we agree that coming back here counts as personal growth?🥹
@brightaday
Welcome back! Re-entering this space is definitely personal growth. You're actively reflecting on your experiences, and sharing your journey not only improves yourself, but anyone else reading.
For, you got me thinking about those in-between days. When there's nothing really to deal with but getting out of bed is still an effort. When you don't feel strongly about anything, rather just existing. I appreciate this opportunity you've provided for introspection.
I let those days gain serious momentum and spiralled into deep depression. I didn't do nearly enough self-care. Thankfully I'm loving life and its challenges now, but I think it wise to have a plan for those in-between days if they ever return.
If I ever end up in that place again, I would try to feel. I would explore why I'm in such a state. I would eat exciting food, exercise, and search for meaningful experiences. Not addressing the numbness I felt caused it to turn into real pain. If you're not feeling much, it's a sure sign to act.
I know it can be hard to feel sometimes. I'd like to think I have a better chance now. But anhedonia is really challenging to overcome. If it arises, it's time to throw everything at the wall until something sticks!
Thank you <3 I feel this. So many meh days…