Pointless rant
TW
I’m Janus and this is just another pointless rant by me. Recently, I’ve been feeling worse than usual. I get heart aches randomly and sadness strikes me every time it happens. It’s most likely a mental health thing, but I can’t get professional help. The moment my family finds out about it, I’ll get ridiculed again. It sticks knowing not a single person around me cares about or loves me. I envy people with friends or partner. It feels like a dream for me to even get a friend. I have social anxiety and also trust issues, so it’s difficult for me to talk to anyone. Funny enough, I think it’s been three weeks since I spoken a word to someone. I don’t blame them for not wanting to be friends with me though. I hate every part of me. Looks, voice, personality and even just my presence is disgusting. Even the thought of me makes me physically gag. Why was I even born? I feel like a stranger in my family’s house. All of them look at me with disgust. I was once told to get lost because I stood too close to my sister. Now I have a fear of going into crowded places and don’t even dare to breathe in an elevator with someone else. I just want to live a life of a normal kid. I just don’t want to live the life I am living. Sorry for the rant.
@JanusPi hugs you tightly ❤ I'm glad you were born, I'd be proud to stand by your side (well sit♿) and call you a friend. I would be honoured to have been your family member. And I'd loudly tell anyone who shows hate towards you to " p!ss of you douchebags" I'm just gonna wrap you up in a cosy blanket and cuddle you up, and tell you ❤
little one, don't you cry,
little one, dry your eyes,
rest your head close to my heart
never to part, friend of mine ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you.💕 Although we are just two strangers who met online, you still am so sweet. Appreciate it!
@JanusPi I know we strangers. But the kindness of a stranger is the best thing ever ❤❤ hugs you ❤
- @JanusPi hey man, sorry you feel that way. ive been in that same position (and kinda still am) and ill tell you what helped me get through it.
- it was music and the gym. im still a teenager and live with my parents so i dont really have to worry about working yet but the academic stress and expectations from parents and relatives really affect me alot and sometimes i get burnt out, this is when i just stop.
- i stop speaking, i stop caring about what anyone wants from me, i just study, go to the gym, eat, and sleep.
- ive blocked everyone on social media (i dont use *** or *** or anything, just whatsapp)
- and yk what? i feel at peace.
- i go for a walk in the evening, wearing headphones, listening to lofi music and it really helps alot.
- i too was very depressed (again, still kinda am but that doesn't matter) regarding my physical appearance.
- the thing that helped me was just getting dressed. Wake up a little early from your usual time and take some effort to get dressed. Wear clothes that properly fit you and wear some perfume and you're set for the day
- im just sharing my personal experience. You should try this too, and tell me if it helps!
@mooyi
Alright, I’ll give it a go. Thank you.💕