Queerness and rejection
Hey guys, I'm a neurodivergent lesbian, and I'm currently having a hard time and not sure what to do, and having trouble asking friends for help.
i've had a lot of issues with depression and loneliness, but was managing fine until recently. i had made another queer friend who i got along perfectly with, we had all the same obscure interests, similar personalities, they were quickly becoming my favorite person. i had really, really grown to like them (maybe even love them a bit) and thought they liked me too, until i finally asked them out on a proper date after months of vaguely date-like outings, and got rejected.
i had tried to emotionally prepare for a rejection, but now i feel like every bit of depression i'd healed from has come back. i feel more hearbroken than any rejection has made me feel in years. i feel embarrassed, i feel alone, i feel hopeless and unloveable, i feel like there must be something wrong with me that makes me get rejected so often. and as overly dramatic as it sounds, i feel like im grieving the hope i had of finally finding someone i could love.
it's caused me to relapse on some other self-destructive issues i thought i'd healed from (like an ED i had years ago), and i dont know how to get over this. i've been crying for a whole week like some kid. just the fact that im this emotional about it makes me feel immature and pathetic. but my dating pool is already limited, and the fact that every time i find a good match, the feelings are never reciprocated, makes me feel some kinda way about myself.
basically, how do u deal with rejection, grieve a relationship that never happened, keep from spiraling, and not feel like the Least Loveable Creature On The Planet?
Rejection is never easy, and it's completely normal to feel heartbroken and overwhelmed by it. It's okay to grieve the relationship that you hoped for, even if it never fully materialized. Your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be acknowledged and processed. You're not immature or pathetic for feeling emotional about this; you're human. It's okay to cry and to feel hurt. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions fully, without judgment. In terms of coping, try to focus on self-care and nurturing activities that bring you comfort and peace. Reach out to supportive friends or loved ones, even if it feels difficult. You don't have to go through this alone.
hey liz, I understand how you feel. I’m also a neurodivergent lesbian and I’ve been in a similar situation. it’s important to remember that the way you’re feeling right now is valid and that it’s okay to be upset over it. rejection doesn’t feel good for anyone, and it’s even worse when the dating pool really is so limited (as you mentioned.) what do you usually do when you’re sad? do you have any coping mechanisms, like reading or drawing? i know it’s not easy, but you’ll get through this. you’re not unloveable because there’s no such thing, you’ll find someone one day who’s really perfect for you and who loves you and reciprocates your feelings.
This is such a tough question - how to deal with rejection?
When we put people on a pedestal and they don’t feel the same we can feel that there is something wrong with us. Maybe we offended someone or maybe we just weren’t their cup of tea. Know your values, beliefs, boundaries. Find your purpose, set boundaries, let those you trust know how you feel.
Please reflect on the relationship you have with yourself - lots of absolutes :( Unfortunately in most cases - not all of the time but people treat you as you treat yourself - yes it’s nasty and yes it’s not fair :(
sends much love to you and keeping you in prayers🙏💛
