Some of my experiences and about when I was away from cups

First here's a huge trigger warning, I may talk about anything so please consider all your triggers before reading.

.I wanna share some life lessons too but please remember they are not advices at all. Imagine your just reading through a random line on newspaper or something, so don't take it at telling you what you should do, if you're going to read of course.

No pressure tho

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I believe it become three months that I was away. Probably my friends and some other people know the reason, well I'm not here for that at the moment.

I feel I need to share, cups people are the only friends I have, it was so difficult without them. I even dreamed about being on cups again in the meantime a couple of times.

First I want to say I went through PRK eye surgery as my eyes has some illnesses and the migraine headaches were becoming frustrating. I also don't need to wear glasses 24/7 anymore! But yeah my eyesight isn't always so clear so please bear with my typos.

Today I'm 18, with blink of an eye, in around 6 more months I'll be 19. That's kinda insane.

Ome of the things I learned is that time won't stop, after years of finally being settled as a teenager, you go 18 and so many things changes, I was depressed out of this for a long time but I realized I'm wasting my days as 18 over the teenager years which is part of the reason who I am today. But time won't wait for me, again. I will soon go 19-20 and on, so the best thing that came to my mind was to journal to save the moment if needed, and more importantly, live the moment.

To me it was like at some point, depression becomes a choice, and that's kinda a good news because you become mindful of your mental health, you feel that sometimes it's only, in your head. Or similar to my case, it's your ocd.

I also learned that at times, it really doesn't really matter, it's just the challenge at hand, and how your going to react to it, as much as you have control over

So sometimes I began to only try to find the solution first, instead of trying to convince others. In some situations that could wait.

Also I was deeply in need of hearing certain words from people, I feel that was embarrassing but I want to share.

In example, during my exam I allowed others to cheat from me (which influenced my grade and offended me), partly because I just wanted to feel I'm good at the subject that much. That really sounds like a traumatic person.

So I kinda learned that what other's say doesn't always make a change in my life, or make it better, at all.

It's really up to me as much as I have control over it.

The other coping mechanism I tried and still use is to kinda shut down my emotions. Some tragedies happened somewhere, but I feel my body shouldn't take more pain, especially when it doesn't help to be just desperate out of it. So I kinda shut down my mind about the matter. Maybe this was wrong I don't know, but my body needs recovery.

The other thing I learned was that physical health and mental health are almost exactly bond to one another. If one gets down, the other will fall with it too, as it also will rise.

So taking care of your physical health will improve your mental health, and the exact opposite.

The other which hit hard was... Parents will age up too... At some point you kinda feel it's better to understand them and not hurt them by will. Try to value Evey moment you spend with them. To me that actually makes awesome affects on your lives.

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My mind kinda feels dizzy right now, probably cuz it's around 2 am. Ok that's enough for now, I'll probably add more later.

Tc whoever reads this.

28th may 2026_seeker