Speaking help?
Hi, I only just joined, but I'm already kind of running into a problem.
So I've always had this weird problem where I'll try to talk, but I can't for some reason. Like, it hurts my chest if I try too hard, but no sound comes out and I don't know what to do. It's not even just serious things either; I was playing a team-building game in class the other day and I couldn't even contribute. Everyone always jokes about me being "shy", but I really do want to talk.
I joined 7cups yesterday because I want to try to get used to trying to talk over something like this before I make a decision on going to therapy. Even here, though, where it's over written messages, I'm struggling a lot.
Does anyone have any tips, or maybe some idea as to what is going on?
@BookCollector
I'm not a mental health professional, but it's possible that you may be experiencing social anxiety or selective mutism, which can make it difficult to speak in certain situations
@patientSky1754
Thanks, I'll look into those
@BookCollector
P.S. I've been doing them but it's too early to tell if they're working.
@BookCollector
Hi, Collector,
OMG, yes! I've got a great resource for you. About a year I could barely talk. My voice was extremely shaky and frequently my voice just wouldn't work. A friend of mine told me about speech therapy videos on youtube. I don't know if they will help me and/or you, but it couldn't hurt. Here's a link for you to start with. If the link doesn't work, just look up speech therapy on youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v2xYMHjxEQ&list=PLzk0Aen5k0OUbBSblkybBhNk-vdD8fuOZ&index=1
love and blessings,
tree
@purpleTree4652
Thank you!
Hi im also new but do you mind if you hear my thoughts?
@Alexo0010
Alright!
If you don't usually have problems talking to strangers but these team building exercises are difficult or impossible to do i understand. This might be performance anxiety not social anxiety. In otherword you fear being judged for your work, especially when this work is not part of your usual duties.
I suffer from it and avoid team building exercises. I conveniently have to use the bathroom when these are starting. There is no benefit from them. I am often put into a group of people i never work with. There is no need become more familiar with these people since i won't see them until the next all office meeting in 6 months. I think the only reason they are done at all is to fill time in the meeting.
@Gettingbettertoday
I understand that, and it would make sense, but it's not just around large groups of people, it can even be around friends and family sometimes
Thank you for your help though!
Replying as a support system / friend and not a therapist... sounds like good old fashioned anxiety triggered by self-doubt and fear of judgement from others to me! With them teasing you about being shy, that just adds to the issue.
- Does your head race with thoughts, unable to catch a single one to express?
- Do negative comments run through your head, such as "they will think I am dumb", " I am going to mess this up", etc prior to trying to speak?
- Do you come from a family or background where you were judged and misunderstood? ...side note, that IS happening right now with saying you are shy.
- Do you obtain your value and self-worth from what others think and say, especially in response to you?
- Are you scared to speak your truth, who you are, and what you think because the fear of rejection is too high?
There are all things to think about that will help you learn yourself, be mindful of your actions, and find the path to healing. There is also a direct link between the body and the mind and this has been proven, especially the heart! The description of you hurting in your chest and no words coming out is very telling and helpful as well! Your chest is your heart area, lung area, and heart Chakra area. Where you tense up and feel pain will guide you as well:
- In the short term, it tells you to love yourself (heart), speak your truth (lungs), and BREATHE to release the tension. Learning how to move through anxiety by breathing in for a long count, holding it for a long count, then breathing out for a long count with help tremendously.
- In the long term, the answers to the questions above coupled with the knowledge of where in the body you are reacting to the situation, will give you guidance for looking up and learning about energies and movement of energies in these areas.
The body speaks to us ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY. But we have been taught to ignore it and that is is huge problem in Western society! LISTEN to your body and work with your body... your own cellular make up KNOWS what you need and KNOWS what to say. We just have to trust the process. AND we have to learn to love ourselves independent of what others think... NO exception! From that action springs INTEGRITY, and with integrity you will KNOW YOURSELF and KNOW YOUR WORDS.
Sending you much love and light! I too am walking a similar path as I am preparing to write a book that I have been procrastinating on for 10 YEARS.. a book that I WILL be judged for, so WE, you and I, WE have this, my friend! WE have insight and valuable things to say... and it is time for US to be heard!
🥰💞 🫀+🫁+👄💨 = 🗣🥰🫂🥇
