Support🌪️ and love
So im seeing things doing their stinky thing sgain. And im starting to become more intrested in support outside of Ma. Because i cannot keep rely on someone who falls to the floor when i lean on them in crisis. I dont know whats up but being reliant on oneself only is so hard idk if i can do it. Its painful. Idk. I seen theres a 20 and over group here is there one if age and up like under 20 but still a YA? Cus this is a wreck
Or anything that has helped someone move thru stuff like this. Or some wisdom not so sure.
@berrycheesecake90
Here for you 🩵
@Amanda84 thank u 💗
@berrycheesecake90 yeh well per usual, i have a crisis after trigger, get yelled at, blamed for snapping during a crisis and insulted, and then once i cool appearantly everyone inculdin ma blame me 🙄🤦♀️
i can try n say what to do but ill be real im puzzled and actually hurt and not feeling at all okay 1/10 i feel okay. And i cant believe how someone can behave like this after knowing my condition atp not even researchin it is not my problem cus i did the research 🤷♀️ All i got left rn is find proper support, i dont need a woman insulting cus i say "take back ur negative words" and maybe ask a bit much reassurance that is bullpoopie, night n mornin is hard, mornin u wake up feeling it all, nighttime u have to put up the energy to end ur day knowin the next is just as unwelcoming, i know irl friends can be unhealthy too and rude and everything, but atp i need a decent person whos stable n understanding of stuff. yknow when a situation keeps happenin u start lookin at urself like "is it me?" no. just unstable space with unstable people who cant phathom that they took part in worsening ur mental health and not supportining it properly (MA, Dad, fam) 🙄
in all tenderness, i just want to be loved and seen by my mom and protected. Thats it. Have my mental health supported and understood, and it hurts seeing her turn into this because she refuses her own help but uses a coping thing instead of true help. I rlly wish when my ma's family said they love me that it went all the way thru to my crisises, breakdowns, whatever, i wish whenever id come to her crying shed not push me away and insult me cus shes tired of seeing me cry, idk when shell wake up from all of this but it hurts alot. SO much. To also not have the support and have to reach out to strangers is also something else i never expected to do this, just wanted safety and ive carried so much for so long. And i wont lie its affecting my view on myself in a low way, i dont like it, i feel bad for my body and soul, and i feel scared of ma sometimes if not most of these 2 weeks. bein told that im this and that by a woman that oathed to show me love and compassion is another level of pain. Soo much supression everywhere in the home. for now thats it wish i could telepathically shwo more for a split sec