The Truth

I was abandoned by parents at the age of three. my mother gave me to my father as she admitted in attempts to get him back. and my step father was abusing her and her two other babies. she had me at 15. and I’m the oldest. my great great grandmother raised me on my fathers side. she recently passed. as the only mother I’ve ever known. I lived so many years waiting for my actual mother to come back as she said she would. and when she did she only came back for the youngest. I have ptsd. bipolar. anxiety and depression. I’m going through a divorce now with whom I thought would recorrect my past. yet he was mentally, emotionally and even physically abusive when he drank. I try to fight. push. overcome but it seems nothing I do is ever good enough. to be wanted. made a priority. fought for. ever. I have two medically fragile toddler baby boys. and I’m trying to do this now all on my own. no real support. broken. Can’t afford a lawyer. In therapy/therapies. Possibly going to lose my job. I’m so overwhelmed. Consumed . Can’t see any light these days